Envie
by wherefore-suchas
Summary: Set three weeks after the epilogue to "April Witch." Remy adapts to life at the Institute. Rogue explores her powers. How normal can an x-man's life truly be?
1. lust

Envie (the heart's desire)  
  
disclaimer: not mine. never will be. money made from this: zero dollars.  
  
(brief) author notes: this is the third in a series that includes these stories: une danse ronde, april witch and a missing scene, hands are the heart's landscape. while this takes place in a.u. land, I've included some of the major events in show continuity (e.g. jean + scott, evan + the morlocks) on the assumption that they took place in the five months between the last chapter of april witch and the epilogue. i ask you, why do so many x-men have accents? rogue, remy and now kurt! i'm doing the best i can here people!  
  
one last caveat: there will be some sexual-type situations in this story, although nothing even close to a graphic depiction of sex. the scenes really aren't objectionable, but I'm giving fair warning now, just in case.  
  
* * *  
  
Th' yellin' started almost as soon as Ah closed the door, but Ah did my best ta ignore it.  
  
"Rogue, vait, I have to get in zere! Amanda and I..."  
  
"No way, Kurt! You always get, like, hair and junk all over the sink. It's totally gross. Lemme come in for a sec, Rogue. I promise to be quick." There was a scufflin' sound an' then a muffled thump as someone hit the door.  
  
"Hey!" More scufflin' before Kitty's hand flailed through the wood. Good thing the rest o' her stayed on the other side.  
  
Ah turned on the water an' waited for it ta get hot before Ah started fillin' the tub.  
  
There was a gentle knock at the door. "Not to hurry you, Rogue, but Scott and I are running late..."  
  
Ah dumped what musta been half a bottle o' Mr. Bubble into the water, stripped quickly an' climbed in. With my ears under, Ah couldn't even hear Jean's knockin' anymore. Ah sighed. Friday nights were the worst. Ah'd have though that when we were rebuildin' the Institute we woulda fixed some o' the old problems, but not this one. Too many people an' not enough bathrooms.  
  
It wasn't troublin' me too much. Ah'd given up my turn ta Kurt the week before because he'd looked so pathetic, like Amanda wouldn't like him anymore if he didn't put on that extra splash o' cologne. Ah wanted ta tell him if she liked him blue she'd like him no matter what, but the fact was his sweet self-consciousness was pretty endearin'.  
  
Ah washed my face an' shampooed my hair. Then Ah lay back an', stretchin' out, Ah toed open the tap so that more hot water poured in. Heat bloomed across my skin an' steam filled my lungs. The bubbles grew until they covered my face. Everythin' was real quiet an' Ah let out a sigh o' relief that they'd all finally gotten the message an' gone away.  
  
But Ah'd thought too soon. "Lo-gan! Rogue's totally hogging the bathroom. She's been in there for, like, ten hours."  
  
Logan rapped sharply on th' door. "Friday night, Stripes," was all he said. Ah could practically see one corner o' his mouth lifted in amusement. That ah-ta-be-young-again look.  
  
Did Ah mention how much Ah hate Friday nights?  
  
Ah sighed an' climbed outta the tub, pullin' the plug out as Ah left. After dryin' off quickly, Ah twirled my hair up in my towel an' wrapped my bathrobe tightly around me. Clutchin' all o' my clothes in one hand, Ah left the bathroom.  
  
There was quite a line an' Ah had ta smile at that.  
  
"There better be some hot water left," Kitty grumped. Ah beamed sweetly at her an' batted my eyelashes. She didn't really mean it anyway. While she was busy scowlin' at me, Kurt teleported past her, slammed the door an' locked it. "No fair!" Kitty howled, poundin' on the door. "Kurt you jerk, get out of there!" Ah waited just long enough ta see Kitty phase through the door and ta hear Kurt's outraged shout.  
  
Ah laughed quietly ta myself as Ah padded back towards my room. Halfway down the hall Ah stopped. There was loud music comin' from Remy's room. He'd been paired up with Kurt because Evan was...gone. Livin' with the Morlocks in some damp, sunless place under all our feet. Ah shivered at the thought. No one talked about it much, the subject was too raw. We were especially careful in front o' Ms. Munroe, 'cause even his name never failed ta stir up sadness in her eyes.  
  
Couldn't tell what the song was, but it had a lot o' bass. Practically rattled my teeth in their sockets. There was so much stuff 'bout Remy that was still a mystery ta me, like the fact that his musical taste was, ta put it mildly, eclectic. Ah'd heard everythin' from the Beatles ta David Bowie ta Bikini Kill pumpin' outta his room, usually at deafenin' levels. He seemed ta be in the mood for hardcore that night.  
  
Ah dropped my bundle o' clothes on the floor an' eased the door open. He was sprawled out on his stomach on the bed, his back ta me. For a minute Ah was content just ta watch him. It was as if his whole body was an extension o' the music, he bobbed his head, tapped his fingers an' banged his feet, all in time ta the beat.  
  
Between the music an' the paper in front o' him on the bed absorbin' his attention, it was too easy ta creep up behind him. Ah grabbed his sides an' all hell broke loose. He gave a hoarse shout, pushed himself up, flipped neatly in the air, grabbed hold o' my waist an' brought us both tumblin' down on the bed. It didn't stop there either. The bedframe (which had never been too stable ta start with) creaked ominously before crashin' onto the floor.  
  
We lay there for awhile, lookin' at each other wide-eyed. My heart was goin' a mile a minute an' Ah could feel Remy's poundin' out syncopation. We were tangled in interestin' ways with my legs trapped between his an' my shoulder jammed into his side. The towel from my head had fallen off an' puddled on the floor. At least somethin' was goin' right for me: my robe had stayed tightly fastened.  
  
Ah held my breath an' waited for the stampede o' feet, but nothin' came. Was it possible that they hadn't heard anythin' above the sound o' the music? Remy reached over an' flicked off the stereo.  
  
"Always nice t' see you, beb," he said wryly.  
  
"Uh...this didn't go exactly like Ah thought it would," Ah offered lamely.  
  
He smoothed his right hand over my waist an' Ah felt like there was a whole herd o' butterflies trompin' around in my stomach. "So much for anticipating de unforseen, neh?" My eyes drifted closed as he pushed the edge o' my robe aside ta brush the tip o' his index finger across my collarbone. Ah shifted an' ran my hands across his shirt-covered stomach. He sucked in his breath sharply. "Rogue..." he began roughly.  
  
"Remy, vere is the...scheisse (shit). Sorry." Ah whipped my head around just in time ta see Kurt blush bright red before he teleported outta th' room. Ah leaned my head against Remy's chest an' laughed until my stomach muscles went weak.  
  
Ah untangled myself an' stood. "Just wanted ta see what ya were readin'," Ah said, casually. Before he could do anythin', Ah yanked the paper out from under his head. It'd gotten pretty crumpled in the fall. He made a noise o' protest and reached after me, but Ah danced away from his hands, scoopin' up my towel as Ah went. "Ah'll see ya later, okay?" Before he could say anythin' else, Ah waltzed outta the room. It was turnin' out ta be one o' the best Fridays in a long time.  
  
* * *  
  
Maudit (cursed). Dat's all I could t'ink 'bout after Rogue left. Jus' maudit. On de other hand, I'd never seen a blue man blush before. Kurt had turned a fascinating shade of lavender. Still, on de whole, it might have been better if he hadn't come in at all. Shuddered t' t'ink 'bout all de stories dat might be circulating by de end of de evening. Hadn't taken me long t' find out dat gossip at de Institute traveled faster dan de speed of light. Was a scientific impossibility sans doute (doubtless).  
  
Sighed and heaved myself t' my feet. De bed would have t' wait. Opened de door. "I know you're out dere, Kurt."  
  
"Is it safe?"  
  
"She's gone."  
  
Kurt poked his head in de room, like he t'ought I was lying. "I didn't mean to come barging in. If I'd known...traurig (sorry)." One of de first t'ings I'd noticed about Kurt was dat he'd sometimes break into German when he was upset. Mebbe 't wasn't such a good t'ing t' know, because I was usually de one t' upset him. Don't t'ink he knew exactly what t' make of me. Not dat I knew what t' make of him, not after three weeks. Knew dat he dated a girl named Amanda, only watched comedies and knew everyt'ing dere was t' know about REM.  
  
Knew dat I was never supposed t' ask him 'bout his old roommate.  
  
Felt closer t' him because he spoke two languages and some of de times got dem mixed like I did, but I'd never told him dat, naturally.  
  
Put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched. "Not what you t'ink, mon ami."  
  
"I don't think anything," he insisted, staring at de floor like he wanted t' burn a hole in it. "I didn't see anything." He cast a guilty look at de bed. "How...how did you do zat?"  
  
Had t' laugh at dat. "I'll tell y' when you're older." He looked at me and scowled, but just until he figured dat I was kidding. "Don't be late, keep your belle (sweetheart) waiting."  
  
"Ah, yes, but vere is the..."  
  
"Here." Picked up his jacket from beside my wrecked bed and tossed it t' him.  
  
"Thanks. I didn't see a thing!" he assured me hastily before running out de door.  
  
Sighed an' turned my attention t' de bed. Wasn't as bad as I'd t'ought before. Some of de slats at de bottom had fallen out, but dey weren't broken. Put dem back in and soon it was like de whole t'ing hadn't happened.  
  
Dere was a sharp knock at de door. By de force of it I had a pretty good idea who it was.  
  
"I'm naked!" I shouted.  
  
"Ga-lee (expression of excitement/awe)," Rogue said sarcastically. Opened her mouth in an exaggerated "O" an' covered it wit' her hand. She'd changed out of de robe (pity) and brushed her wet hair severely back from her face. No makeup, but she was wearing de full complement of jewelry, counted at least four necklaces an' eight rings.  
  
"Won't have y' picking up de language just t' insult me."  
  
"Ah woulda thought your English was insultin' enough ta you already."  
  
"Everyone's a comedian," I offered.  
  
Rogue snorted. "'Ah'm naked.' What if Ah'd been Jean or somebody?"  
  
Shrugged. "De ladies can't resist me."  
  
"What if Ah'd been Scott?" she asked wit' a wicked grin.  
  
"De boys neither."  
  
"Ah'll bet." Crossing de room, she smoothed de crumpled paper she'd stolen from me earlier across my newly-repaired bed. "So what's this mean if ya don't mind tellin' me? Ya plannin' ta rob Bayville High?"  
  
"Can't a man have some mystery?"  
  
She shook her head vigorously. Droplets of water sprinkled my face. "Ya oughtta know by now that there're no secrets in th' x-men."  
  
We looked at each other, unblinking. Except for Evan an' Logan an' Ororo an' even Kurt. De house was full of secrets, we both knew it, but no one ever talked 'bout it. Dere were some t'ings better left undisturbed.  
  
Was unexpectedly reluctant t' tell her de reason dat I had a plan of de school. It was too coo-yon (stupid). "Wanted t' be prepared," I mumbled. Three weeks of getting used t' de Institute and de adults had decided it was time for me t' start regular classes.  
  
She put her hand on my bicep. "It's okay ta be nervous."  
  
"I'm not nervous!"  
  
"Fine. You're not nervous." She swept her hands into de air. "God forbid th' great Remy LeBeau should be nervous 'bout anythin'."  
  
"Mais (well), I just don't see de point. American history don't make de cards fly farther. Home economics don't make me stronger."  
  
Rogue fought t' suppress a chuckle and failed. "You're takin' home economics?"  
  
"Dat's not de point!"  
  
"You're really takin' home economics." She bit her lip.  
  
Folded my arms across my chest. "Needed de extra class."  
  
"Watch out for Kitty's cookin'."  
  
"I'll keep dat in mind," I said sourly.  
  
Suddenly, she turned serious. "Look, it's been hard for all of us. When we first went back everyone knew our secret an' it was like startin' over. Some people lost a lotta friends that way. Um...so, leche pas la patate (don't let go of the potato, i.e. hang in there), okay?"  
  
"Lache," I corrected automatically. "Lache pas la patate."  
  
"See?" Her smile was dazzling and I found it hard t' concentrate. "You're a natural for French class at least, right?" She hugged me fiercely den, after a moment, touched her lips t' mine.  
  
Dere was always somet'ing held back when I'd kissed Rogue before, a tiny space in de back of my head dat counted down de seconds until I had t' stop or get my powers drained. Dis time, when I started t' break away, she sighed deep in her throat, held my cheeks and pulled me closer. Her hands were cold and her rings were tiny weights on my skin. Her tongue slid delicately over my mouth.  
  
Her hands were cold.  
  
Dat alone should've made me stop, sit her down and ask her what de hell was going on. But her hands had left my face and dey were busy enough playing wit' de waistband of my pants. By de time she peeled my shirt off, I couldn't remember for de life o' me why de situation should be wrong.  
  
* * * 


	2. fear

* * *  
  
One o' my pant legs had gotten turned inside out an' Ah was strugglin' ta fix it when Remy woke up. Ah was standin' on one leg. One o' my bra straps was twisted an' diggin' into my shoulder. He rolled ta the edge o' the bed an' traced my spine from top ta bottom, raisin' goosebumps on my arms.  
  
"Not t'inking of leaving wit'out saying goodbye." Ah could tell he was a little hurt, but Ah didn't want ta worry 'bout that right then. Ah had a pain in my head that seemed ta be spreadin' down ta the rest o' my body.  
  
"Ah cain't just be lyin' around all night."  
  
"Friday night, chére," Remy said lazily. He snaked his arm around my waist an' pulled me backwards. My pants snarled around my legs. "What you have t' do dat's so important?"  
  
The pain flared. It was so bad, my vision went white for a moment. Scared, Ah pushed myself away from him as if he might catch th' pain. He was still shirtless an' his skin was warm. Softer than Ah'd ever imagined. Up 'till then Ah thought Ah'd forgotten those minutes in Genosha. That touch hadn't been enough, but Ah hadn't ever let myself think it before. There had never been any hope before. Shaky, Ah pulled my pants on an' fastened 'em.  
  
"We shouldn't..." My head was spinnin' an' my knees felt like jello, but Ah made for the door best Ah could.  
  
He bounded in front o' me an' blocked th' way. "Never known you t' be a capo (coward) before."  
  
"Ah'm not a coward!"  
  
He grabbed my bare hand roughly an' held it up between us. "What's dis den? Why you runnin' out so fast?"  
  
Ah bit my lip, hard. Hard enough ta clear my poundin' head for a minute. "Ah just wanted ta do somethin' special Ah guess. For both of us." Ah lowered my lashes an' peeked at him through 'em. His look was concern an' desire all mixed together.  
  
"Dat's not what I mean and y' know it! Where are your powers, Rogue?"  
  
"Would ya believe Ah've been workin' ta control 'em for just such an occasion?" Ah asked flippantly.  
  
Remy frowned at me. "I'd believe it if it was de truth," he said darkly.  
  
Ah threw up my hands. "Oh Ah don't know! Maybe they decided ta take a nice, long vacation an' let me lead a normal life for a change. Why d'you have ta question it? Ah'd have thought you'd be happy."  
  
Ah pressed my hand against his chest an' he jumped like he'd been stung. But then he shook his head. "Not dat easy. 'S not normal for you. Dere's somet'ing wrong. T'ink we need t' see Mr. McCoy 'bout it."  
  
"No!" The word came flyin' outta me. In the same moment the pain came back. Twice as bad as before. My entire spine was on fire. Ah stepped forward an' leaned against Remy for support. "Please?" Ah said in a small voice. "It's nothin', Ah promise." His arms went around me, but gently as if Ah was made outta China an' might break with rough handlin'.  
  
"Doesn't seem like not'ing." Ah pressed my ear against his chest so Ah could hear his voice rumblin' deep inside. Somehow that made me feel a little better.  
  
"Everythin'll be okay." Steadier, Ah stepped outta his arms an' looked at him. "Maybe y' should put some clothes on though. Someone could get ideas."  
  
He laughed, but the sound was weak. "She's de one t' talk." He jerked his thumb at me. Ah was standin' there with my shirt off. My bra strap was still twisted. Ah reached up an' untwisted it casually, as if Ah stood around in nothin' but my underwear all day long. Carefully, Ah put my shirt on. My body felt like it was about ta crack into pieces.  
  
Ah managed ta walk confidently outta Remy's room an' Ah made it all the way back ta my room before Ah sagged against th' wall. Closed the door, locked it (not that it made much difference with Kitty) an' began mechanically takin' off th' jewelry. Between my fight with Remy an'...everythin' else with Remy...Ah was as tired as Ah could ever remember bein'.  
  
It wasn't that Ah didn't know what was wrong with me, or probably what was causin' it, it was just that Ah didn't want ta believe it. After all, it'd never happened before. Then Ah'd never worn the collar for that long either.  
  
Ah'd gotten the idea from the Professor, only he hadn't known it. When he was tellin' us all he could remember 'bout bein' in that cabin he said that somethin' was blockin' his powers. That'd been why Jean hadn't been able ta find him. Everyone figured it was some kinda dampenin' field like there'd been in Genosha, but Ah'd thought of the collar Ah'd taken from him an' wondered. Took me almost a month ta screw up the courage ta test it. Ah'd fixed it up with a latch instead of a lock an' worn it between classes one day. At first Ah was sure that nothin' was happenin' an' Ah was as careful as Ah always am surrounded by so many people. But then one o' Duncan's friends had bumped into me an', overbalanced, Ah put my hand out ta brace myself on the lockers, hittin' Taryn instead. An'...nothin'. Nothin' at all happened except Taryn squealin' a little an' the boy tellin' me ta watch where Ah was goin'. He'd added "freak" for good measure, but Ah'd been too happy ta pay any attention ta him. It was hard ta take the collar off, but Ah'd promised myself only ta use it for special occasions.  
  
The collar was the last o' my jewelry ta come off. The perfectly fitted links made it slide easily, but they also made it slippery ta hold onto, like a snake or somethin'. Underneath, my neck felt raw an' Ah tilted my head away from the mirror so Ah could see better. There was an angry, red line where the metal had been. Ah touched my fingertips ta my neck an' they came away specked with blood.  
  
Shocked, Ah looked at the collar in my hand, holdin' it up so Ah could see better. There were tiny, pin-sized spikes on the inside. Ah was sure they hadn't been there before. Ah blinked hard as if that might make them go away.  
  
* * *  
  
My hands were tied, but not in dat good way. Didn't take de most observant person in de world t' see dat dere was somet'ing seriously wrong wit' Rogue. I'll admit dat it hurt dat she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. So what else was dere for me t' do but follow her back t' her room?  
  
Swung myself out de window and de cold air cut into me immediately. Co faire (why) should it be true dat if I lived to a hundred I'd never get used t' dat cold? Too much of de bayou in me. One of de first t'ings I'd done was explore de outside of de house. De footholds were decent, obvious t' de trained eye. Didn't want Rogue t' see me coming. Never get t' de truth dat' way.  
  
Dere was a freshly-fallen coating of snow and de trees stood out blackly against it, making de whole world seem like some black and white photograph. Right out of Ansel Adams, at least until an orange flash lit de night. Was enough t' startle me off de wall. De moment passed in a hiss of wind in my ears as I fell, but finally, I managed t' grab hold of de drain spout. De t'ing groaned and shifted from de wall a little. I scrambled t' de ground, ready t' face whoever it was. Mostly I didn't t'ink it was any kind of threat. Probably Ray or Roberto, mebbe even Amara. Dey liked messing wit' me. Probably because, wit' me around, dey weren't de newest at de Institute anymore. Ran over de position t' take: friendly but firm. No firing energy blasts at a man while he's clinging t' a wall two tall stories above de ground.  
  
I saw de person who'd fired at me and all de words went out o' my head.  
  
"Don't know how you stand it, mate. It's bloody Baltic up here!" John rubbed his arms. De familiar red and orange costume was gone, but he still carried de flamethrowers and de hair would be unmistakable anywhere.  
  
"How'd y' get in?"  
  
"How'd you get in?" he snapped back sarcastically. "Love's made you all soft and squishy." He reached out an' poked my sides.  
  
Knocked his hands away. "Always were too gumbo ya-ya (loud) for your own good."  
  
"No sense in getting upset, Remy. I'm here with some bizzo (business) for ya."  
  
"Don't do dat anymore, John. Y' should know."  
  
"Yeah, and ya never thanked me for coverin' your escape that time."  
  
"Thank you." Bit off each word. De more he delayed in telling me what he'd come for, de more I was convinced I wouldn't like it.  
  
He rubbed his hands t'gether. "What's say we go in where it's a bit warmer to talk, eh?"  
  
"Don't know if I'm willing t' buy what you're selling." I folded my arms. "We talk just as well out here."  
  
"Wowser (spoilsport). And here I am, the bearer of helpful news."  
  
"So why don't y' just tell me instead of being so damn mysterious."  
  
"Just thought that ya might want t' know Magneto's back in the country. Has been for a while. An' he brought someone with him. That doctor from Genosha. Magneto's got some new project he's all jazzed about."  
  
"D'you t'ink he's after me?" T'ought of de hunt for Essex, long and bloody t'rough de streets of Nawlins. Occurred t' me dat I wasn't supposed t' have dis life, always chasing or chased. A perfect world and everyone at de Institute would only have t' worry 'bout not getting bored on a Friday night.  
  
"Aren't we a figjam (fuck I'm good, just ask me; a braggart) now. Nah." John dismissed de idea wit' a wave of his hand.  
  
"What, den?"  
  
"Dunno exactly. Ever since Genosha, Magneto an' Mystique've been more secretive, if that's even possible." He rubbed a hand through his hair, making it stand up even more dan normal. "She left right after you did."  
  
"So why you telling me dis, John?"  
  
He scuffed his toe t'rough de snow. "Figured you'd be interested since it's hero stuff an' I guess you're in the line these days."  
  
Found de whole t'ing oddly touching. "Why don't y' tell de others den? You could..."  
  
"No. I couldn't," he insisted.  
  
"But why not?" Den I remembered Mystique. De conversation we'd had on de plane t' Genosha. Was on de tip of my tongue t' tease him like he'd teased me--love had made us both soft--but I looked up t' where de yellow light from Rogue's room spilled into de night and I held myself back.  
  
* * *  
  
RaVeN*NYC: well, I think it's pretty obvious what's up with the powers in this part, but you tell me. But in this part we have the return of St. John! I actually feel kinda bad for him. He always comes off as kind of an idiot whenever the Acolytes fight the x-men, what with the hysterical laughing and the ineffectual powers.  
  
Spitfireness: I've been thinking of the Massachusetts/NY thing and I didn't mean for it to be confusing. I'm assuming that Evan is living in the NYC sewers with the Morlocks and the x-men are up in Massachusetts, so when Rogue was talking about Evan under their feet, she wasn't speaking literally. Um, I think, either that or it's a mistake...  
  
Lace123: I'm glad you like it. It's hard for me to judge the accent thing because *I* know what they're saying. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice long run with this particular storyline and it's good to know there are people in for the long haul. ;-)  
  
Vagabond: you watch out or I may write a *prequel* just to make things generally confusing! Triquel...heh.  
  
Lady MR, xgirlrogue & Lucky439: so the last part was like my little Thanksgiving offering to FF.net and now I have no excuse. May this story prove tastier than my reheated tofurky.  
  
evolutionary spider, ishandahalf & Flyby Stardancer: I was honestly thinking that the more important thing was that he could feel the coldness, i.e. feel her skin. But since Rogue's not...well...it was also ominous. Dun dun duuun!  
  
Neurotic Temptress: yeah, just you wait till he gets to home ec! And you'd certainly think that his adjustment was going well, but I remember when Lance tried to join up so you never know what might happen rubs hands together.  
  
starlightz6: exactly! I mean, you can't have an x-story without the dark and eeevil forces, but sometimes the smaller conflicts are just more interesting. Speaking of which: Rogue? Remy? Fighting? I have no idea where that came from. 


	3. forgiveness

* * *  
  
Ignorin' Remy only made my problems seem worse. Ah managed ta avoid him for the whole day on Saturday. The wounds on my neck from the collar had shrunken into tiny scabs. They were so small that Ah could almost pretend they didn't exist. Almost, except Ah kept raisin' my fingers ta my skin ta find 'em. Took forever for the day ta end an' Ah was dreadin' Sunday, gettin' stir crazy.  
  
Sunday mornin', Ah pulled out all my books an' told Kitty Ah had lots o' work ta do. She looked doubtful, but had the good sense not ta say anythin' about it. Ah did open my history book, but Ah kept readin' the same sentence over an' over again.  
  
Middle o' the day, Logan came by. When he rapped on the door, it was the same sound from Friday night an' it sent a shiver o' alarm through me, rememberin' everythin' that'd happened.  
  
"You okay, Stripes?" Logan asked. He'd softened his voice from its typical growl.  
  
"Yeah. Ah've got a lot of work ta do, that's all."  
  
"Okay," he agreed, but in the quiet after he said it Ah could hear his concern. Angrily, Ah slammed my pencil down on my book. Ah hated ta feel like anyone's charity case. But at the same time, Ah couldn't think o' why Remy hadn't even tried ta talk ta me. Can he really be that mad? My heart sank at the thought.  
  
It was easy enough ta get myself out the window. Once Ah was in th' air, my scrambled thoughts started ta clear a little. The landscape below was pretty, an' sugar-frosted. Ah caught a glimpse o' Bobby all iced up an' slidin' through a field a little ways from the house. Pausin' in th' air, Ah watched him for a while, envious o' the lean line o' his form, the graceful way he slipped over th' ice and feelin' like Ah could never be that carefree, not if Ah lived a thousand years.  
  
Ah tried ta shake the feelin' off, but it didn't work. Envy was like bein' stuck in the mud an' Ah hated how dirty it made me feel. Ah grimly told myself there were worse lives an' moved on. There were worse lives, lots of 'em.  
  
Got as far as Bayville elementary before Ah turned 'round. Problem was, there was nowhere for me ta go. Wherever Ah ended up, there Ah was. Location wasn't really the problem at all, just me an' my thoughts.  
  
It was startlin' but not exactly surprisin' ta see Kurt an' Amanda outside in the playground. Amanda's parents weren't exactly cool with Kurt's fur, or his blueness, or any o' him. But that only seemed ta make 'em try harder. Even though they shouldn't have ta. Ah swallowed a hard lump o' anger on his behalf.  
  
They were on the swings. Amanda was sittin', drawin' patterns in the snow with the toes of her boots. Kurt was standin' on his swing, balancin' on one leg. He told some joke Ah couldn't hear an' they both burst into laughter. Sounded tinny over the distance. Ah was torn between bein' drawn in by the warmth o' their laughter an' feelin' like an intruder. While Ah tried ta decide what ta do, Ah edged closer.  
  
Kurt had his image inducer off. He looked happier an' more relaxed than Ah'd seen in a long time. He touched Amanda's face an' she leaned into his hand.  
  
"I'm vorried about Rogue," Ah heard him say. Ah stiffened, hopin' for more, but not exactly wantin' ta hear it either.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"She and ze new boy...I don't vant her to be hurt."  
  
"Everyone's got their own pace," Amanda suggested gently.  
  
"Not just zat. She's...different zese days."  
  
"Isn't that kinda Rogue being Rogue?"  
  
"But zere's more zat she's not saying. I can tell."  
  
Ah could see he was itchin' ta add "a brother can tell" at th' end o' that sentence, but Ah'd sworn him ta secrecy about that. Didn't want him runnin' off at the mouth when Ah could barely process the news myself. Fact o' the matter was Ah didn't want Mystique ta be my mother, even if she was only my adopted mother. Ah guess Ah'd always just seen myself springin' full grown from Irene's head like some modern-day Athena. Not havin' parents wasn't somethin' Ah'd considered much. Ah touched my neck softly.  
  
Amanda kissed Kurt on the cheek. "Unless she confides in you, there's nothing you can do. You're sweet to worry though." Kurt turned his face ta hers and they were lost together. Not wantin' ta see more than Ah'd bargained for, Ah rose into the air an' took off back in the direction o' the house.  
  
Hadn't gone far when Ah saw a familiar, long-legged figure trudgin' along the main road. Ah gritted my teeth--enough was enough--an' dropped down, landin' in front o' him.  
  
The startled noise he made was somewhere in between a swear an' a shout.  
  
Ah bit back a smile an' a sarcastic comment an' said, "Hi," instead. Ah wanted ta kick myself for how scared my voice sounded. Ah folded my hands together an' looked down at 'em. "So Ah guess you're pretty mad at me, huh?"  
  
He pushed a hand back through his hair. He was forever complainin' 'bout the cold, but he never bothered ta dress right for it. "Been t'inkin' 'bout dat all day."  
  
"And?" My hands itched ta grab him by the front o' his duster an' tell him all 'bout the collar so he could help me destroy it. But then the thought o' destroyin' it was enough ta make me bite my tongue.  
  
"I'm not mad. Disappointed. Confused. Not mad."  
  
It was like a dam broke inside me, fillin' me up with relief. Ah flung my arms around his neck an' he fit his body ta mine. Ah touched his cheeks, his lips, the tips o' his hair.  
  
"Ah thought we were fucked up big time."  
  
"Never," he said confidently. He cradled my hips between his palms. "You're warm," he observed. His hands moved lower.  
  
"Maybe if ya'd wear more clothes ya'd be warmer," Ah told him, lettin' a bit of false exasperation creep into my voice.  
  
"Mais (well), mebbe if y' wore less clothes I'd be warmer too."  
  
Ah moved his hands away. "Good way ta catch hypothermia."  
  
He grinned. "Might be worth the risk, non?"  
  
"Maybe," Ah agreed, pattin' his hip, "but we'll never know, now will we?"  
  
"Never?" He looked so disappointed that Ah had ta laugh. He looked at me mock-sternly before turnin' on his heel an' pretendin' ta walk away. "You're no fun."  
  
Ah bent down, scooped up some snow an' tossed a snowball, hittin' him in the back. "Maybe Ah'm just not your kind o' fun."  
  
He retaliated quickly. Ah should've known he was the last person Ah wanted ta get in a snowball fight with. All those years throwin' cards had made his aim much better than mine. Before Ah knew what was happenin', a hail o' snowballs exploded against my chest an' neck. Remy pounced an' we rolled on the ground. The snow trickled down inside my shirt, but Ah didn't notice it much. Our breath steamed in th' cold air. Remy's eyes were bright when he looked at me. Sometimes it was hard ta control Jenny's powers, feelin' like Ah had ta give everythin' a feather touch or it'd break. Other times Ah just forgot ta worry an' everythin' worked itself out. Remy was straddlin' my waist.  
  
"Rogue, I just want you t' know dat Friday night was great. And if somet'ing's wrong wit' you..."  
  
"It was great for me too," Ah cut in quickly. Ah did not wanna have the rest o' that conversation, especially not flat on my back in the snow. Remy didn't say anythin' either way, but he climbed off me quick enough an' helped me to my feet. "Later," was all he said.  
  
Ah chose ta ignore that an' concentrated on brushin' the snow off my clothes. Remy helped a bit, but it was obvious that there was somethin' occupyin' his mind. "Penny for 'em," Ah offered.  
  
"Comment (what)?"  
  
"Never mind. So what were ya doin' out here anyway? Ah would've thought ya'd be in your room, prayin' for an early summer."  
  
"Mebbe I'm adapting," he said seriously. For the briefest instant, there was somethin' shadowed in his eyes, but it passed so quickly Ah convinced myself that Ah'd imagined it.  
  
* * *  
  
After Rogue and I walked back t' de Institute, I had precious few hours t' warm up before going out in de cold again. John was waiting for me in de grove of trees he'd specified on Friday, leaning against one, casual, like he was waiting for de bus or somet'ing. At least he was dere, but I was still angry dat he'd failed t' make our earlier appointment.  
  
"De more t'ings change..." I muttered loud enough for him t' hear.  
  
"Come off it," John snapped. "You remember what it's like workin' for Magneto. Worse than a bloody slavedriver. If he insists on setting up out in the never-never (remote areas) what do I do then? At least I'm here now."  
  
"At least," I said, putting de emphasis on de second word. Wasn't John so much, though I was frustrated dat he wanted me t' be his go-between, but I was still worried 'bout Rogue. Dere were marks on her neck dat I hadn't noticed before, but I was afraid t' ask her 'bout dem. She was so angry. Don't know if I'd ever realized it before. She felt t'ings too deeply an' tried t' pretend like she didn't. Had some experience in dat area myself.  
  
Either John didn't hear de sarcasm or he chose t' ignore it. "I had a squiz (a quick look) into the lab the other day."  
  
"C'est vrai ça (is that true)?"  
  
He looked at me reproachfully. "In English, arse boy, in English."  
  
"Dat de good oil (the truth)?" I fired back at him, crossing my arms and trying on de best Australian accent I could manage. "I learned your slang."  
  
"Let's not start, eh? Magneto and Moreau have the whole mad scientist setup down. Couldn't tell much, but I nicked this off a table for ya." He dropped a long, silvery piece of metal into de palm of my hand. It looked like a necklace of some sort.  
  
"Why John, y' shouldn't have! Of course I'll go steady wit' you." Flung my arms 'round his neck.  
  
"Rack off (get lost)!" he said, annoyed. He pushed me back and stumbled a bit from de effort. "Be serious for once!"  
  
Held de necklace between my thumb and forefinger. Seemed a little warm in my hand, probably because anyt'ing would've been warmer dan de air. "How d'you even know if dis means anyt'ing?"  
  
"I don't, genius and I don't have any way to find out, but you do. That place you live in now must be stuffed with fancy gadgets, all that James Bond shite. Don't know how you sleep at night, all those valuables just spread out for the taking."  
  
"Dere's such a t'ing as self-control," I told him coldly. "So say I do find out what dis li'l doohickey is, what den?"  
  
He shrugged. "You're th' hero now, mate. Us bushrangers (outlaws) never know how to do the right thing. That's why we leave it up to you."  
  
"I'll see what I can do wit' dis." Dropped de necklace into an inner pocket in my coat.  
  
"Ripper (great)." He put his hand on my forearm and looked at me anxiously. "You'll tell me, right? Before you do anything?"  
  
"Don't worry, she won't get hurt as long as she stays out of de way." Didn't t'ink it was possible, but I was getting colder. De tips of my fingers were completely numb and I wanted t' shove my hands as deep into my pockets as dey would go, but I didn't want John t' t'ink dat I was brushing him off.  
  
"What's it like?" he asked suddenly, removing his hand and wrapping his arms around his body.  
  
"What's what like?"  
  
"The other side."  
  
"Dere's more women here, dat's sure," I said airily, trying t' get a smile out o' him.  
  
"Not exactly what I meant."  
  
"People are people. Just dat we want different t'ings and dat can get us in trouble."  
  
"What do the x-men want, then?"  
  
"Don't know yet. Only been here for three weeks. Y' could come t' find out for yourself."  
  
John shook his head. "Nah. That stuff isn't for me. Too goody-goody, innit (isn't it)?"  
  
"Only if y' want it t' be. It's like..." paused for a moment, trying t' collect my t'oughts, "it's like Rahne."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"De wolf girl. She turns into a wolf and dat might be dangerous, or evil. But what dey did was show her dat it didn't have t' be either. She's free t' be a wolf and a girl because y' don't have t' be one t'ing." He still looked puzzled. "Like when I was wit' Magneto, all I was was Gambit. Dat's all he ever called me because he could only see my powers. My family still called me Remy, and here dere's a little of both."  
  
"Reckon you like it here, then?"  
  
"Haven't decided dat yet," I admitted and was shocked t' realize dat it was de truth. "But it's a good place for now, even if dey do make me go t' school."  
  
"School?" John sounded out de word like he'd forgotten how t' say it.  
  
"Home economics," I admitted sheepishly.  
  
Never saw a boy go from standing t' rolling on de ground wit' laughter any faster. "My, my," he gasped, "you have been domesticated." Disgusted, I turned on my heel and left. De sound followed me almost t' de edge o' de forest, echoing 'till it seemed dat a hundred people were all laughing at what I'd become.  
  
* * *  
  
Lady MR: More John, just for you. I knew Remy + Rogue couldn't stay mad for long.  
  
RaVeN*NYC: I'm more of the opinion that they got to third base (in the incredibly vague baseball analogy), but you get to draw your own conclusions on that one. I'm not sayin' how far they went because, damn, this is a family fic. ;)  
  
Lace123: Sorry this was sorta long in coming (well, for me, okay). Not that I've been feeling uninspired, just that the holidays have attacked me and coated me with psychedelic 60s wrapping paper...  
  
ishandahalf: Oh don't you worry, there will be some Remy home ec goodness in the next chapter for sure. I couldn't resist writing John's take on the whole situation either.  
  
anonymous: So I feel this is a good time to point out that Cajun French and proper French French aren't the same thing (the same way Quebequois is different) and that "patate" is Cajun French for potato while "pomme de terre" is the French French word. This is probably true for other words as well since I tried (whenever I could) to use the Cajun French.  
  
Lucky439: I feel like your drug dealer or something...let me go stand in the corner and look shifty...  
  
Neurotic Temptress: You've got it, baby! It's that whole theory that if there's a gun on the mantle in the first act it will be fired in the third. Rogue WAS wearing all the jewelry as camouflage for the collar. I was hoping that I wasn't going to be too confusing, but I needed some way for her to keep her secret.  
  
vagabond + Niteflite: Believe it or not, I know pretty much where the story is going (before I was often flying by the seat of my pants) and so the updates should be fairly regular. I just have to write the damn thing.  
  
Jean1: Maybe I love all the minor characters because I feel like I can do more with their motivations? That would explain the Berzerker lurve and why I like Rahne. Heck, St. John isn't even developed as a Marvel character, double bonus! Of course he WAS killed by the Legacy Virus...  
  
Flyby Stardancer: Yeah, the collar was causing the pain. Poor Rogue, she should just get rid of it. Ah, but then where would my story be??  
  
evolutionary spider: Glad I could clear things up. I do try to be as explicit as I can without becoming obvious. It's a fine line. The mystery is interesting, no? I can't tell because...well, I know what's going to happen.  
  
Panther Nesmith: I wouldn't want to be responsible for tipping you over the edge, so here's the newest chapter, hot off the presses. I feel as if I've set some standard for myself that I'll inevitably fall short on, but I'm trying my darnedest to make each chapter interesting in its own way.  
  
NEXT CHAPTER, LOLITAS-SISTER IS PROUD TO PRESENT...  
  
REMY IN HOME EC! see you then. 


	4. concern

* * *  
  
Remy was nervous an' distracted that evenin'. After dinner, he muttered somethin' 'bout seein' me around, kissed my head absently an' shut himself in his room. Ah had a sneakin' suspicion he was gonna spend the rest o' the time goin' over the floor plan for the school. He'd commit everythin' ta memory like a good thief an' then he'd feel like he was in control o' the situation.  
  
As if gettin' lost was the worst thing he'd have ta worry about.  
  
Ah knew that he'd never be in control, but Ah also knew enough not ta tell him that. Just bein' in our presence would be enough ta mark him as strange. But that was just somethin' he'd have ta find out on his own. Ah stuck my head into the TV room. Scott an' Jean were curled up on the couch. There was a movie on, but Ah couldn't tell if either o' them were watchin' it at all. My neck tingled as Ah looked at 'em. The last thing Ah needed was ta be jealous of the happy couple. Ah couldn't help thinkin' how nice it might be ta be with someone without the help o' gadgets an' beams.  
  
Kitty was up in our room, sprawled out across her bed. There were books an' papers everywhere.  
  
"Looks like a tornado hit, Dorothy," Ah told her.  
  
"Ha ha. Very funny. Not all of us, like, locked ourselves up in our rooms all weekend. Some of us still have homework and junk."  
  
Deliberately, Ah sat down on my bed an' opened my history book. Kitty looked at me quizzically. "My mind wasn't exactly on it before," Ah explained.  
  
"Really?" She raised her eyebrows and looked intrigued.  
  
"Really."  
  
"So just what were you thinking about?"  
  
"Different things. People," Ah sidestepped her question.  
  
"I'll bet." Kitty, bounced into a sitting position. "I heard you were in his room Friday night."  
  
"God damn Kurt."  
  
"Hey, chill. I heard it from Ray."  
  
"Ray? How the hell did he know?"  
  
Kitty shrugged. "He does have, like, a major crush on you, y'know. I think it's cute."  
  
Ah snorted. "Right."  
  
"You can believe whatever. But you were in Remy's room, right?"  
  
"Is it a crime ta be in someone's room now? Ah'll bet ya were in Lance's room plenty o' times when you two were goin' out."  
  
It was a low blow. Despite the months, Kitty still hurt sometimes because o' what had happened between her and Lance. Like an ache when it rained. She blushed a little an' looked down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "I guess," she said miserably.  
  
Ah felt bad for sayin' what Ah had. "Yeah, Ah was in his room."  
  
"So, like, what did you..." she looked up an' saw my face. "Oh my god! You guys did it! How did you...I mean...wow...I mean...."  
  
"There's a lot of 'it' ta do, okay? We didn't do all of it."  
  
"So are you still...I mean..."  
  
Ah looked at her steadily. "Ah know what ya mean an' don't take this the wrong way, but Ah don't see how it's any o' your business."  
  
Kitty's eyes got real big. So big Ah could practically see the gears movin' inside. "I guess you really like him, huh?"  
  
"Ah guess Ah really do."  
  
She bit her lip. "It's weird, y'know, like I'm used to knowing everything about everyone, but everything's been so crazy with the professor and you running off. I don't know anything about you two." Ah squinted at her, disapproving and she continued with a nervous laugh. "Not that I need to know anything, but I'm your friend, right? I like knowing when stuff is up. And this is pretty major."  
  
Ah didn't know what ta say ta that. Her worry was touchin', but Ah struggled against a biting response because, worry or not, she was threatenin' my privacy. Luckily, Ah was saved by a knock on the door.  
  
"Rogue, it's Ororo, can I come in?"  
  
"It's open!" Kitty yelled, before Ah had a chance ta think. Ah scowled at her and she stuck out her tongue at me.  
  
Ororo gently pushed th' door open. She had a way o' openin' a door an' enterin' a room that made it seem like she was partin' lots o' delicate, silk curtains. Her movements were graceful in a way that sometimes made me feel small an' grubby in comparison.  
  
"What's up, Ms. Munroe?"  
  
She looked at Kitty a moment an' Ah saw a flutter o' nervousness cross her usually unflappable face. "I'd rather not say right here. Come with me, please." She held my elbow an' brought me ta my feet. Ah caught a half- glimpse o' Kitty's puzzled face as we left.  
  
Ororo led me downstairs, into th' professor's study. The lights were down an' he was starin' intently at a fuzzy videotape, but he shut it off when he heard us come in.  
  
"Rogue," he said, swivelin' ta face me. "Please, have a seat."  
  
Ah sat, but Ah couldn't keep still. My fingers drummed frantic Morse code messages on my knees. "What's wrong?" All Ah could think of was that they'd found out about th' necklace an' they were gonna make me give it up. Ah turned cold at the thought. Ah seemed ta hear the professor as if he was speakin' down a well.  
  
"We were reviewing the surveillance tapes and came across something...troubling. We thought you might be able to shed some light on it for us," the professor explained.  
  
Ororo squeezed my shoulder. Her hand was warm an' comfortin'. The professor pressed the 'play' button on the VCR an' an image o' the outside o' the Institute popped onto the screen. While Ah watched, a little blurry figure shimmied across the outer wall.  
  
"This isn't the first time he's done this," the professor observed. "It seems our Mr. LeBeau is a bit stir crazy."  
  
There was a bright flash an' Ah saw Remy tumble off the wall. My heart jumped into my mouth, even though Ah knew he was okay. He scrambled ta the ground and started talkin' ta someone. At first the angle was bad, but then, they moved an' Ah could see clear as day.  
  
John.  
  
My face went cold an' my head spun a little. Seemed like Ororo's hand was the only thing holdin' me upright in the chair.  
  
No.  
  
"Can you think of any reason why Remy would be meeting with St. John Allerdyce?"  
  
"It...it must be some kinda trick. Ya saw how John attacked Remy."  
  
"Yes," the professor agreed, "that's what I thought too, until I asked Ororo to follow him earlier today. He and St. John met in a pre-arranged location not far from here."  
  
So that's why he was out on the road this afternoon.  
  
Ah felt hollow.  
  
"Can you think of any reason he and St. John would be meeting in secret?" Ororo asked, adding, "Rogue?" after Ah hadn't replied.  
  
"Some kind o' mistake," Ah protested weakly. "It must all just be some kind o' mistake."  
  
"We're sorry you had to see this, Rogue," the professor said kindly. "You can go now."  
  
Ah rose ta my feet an' left the room, hearin' the soft, serious murmur o' their voices through the door after Ah closed it.  
  
* * *  
  
"I want you to take the bowl and tilt it at a 45 degree angle. Then, you take your whisk and beat the egg whites briskly until they start to get frothy. Don't beat them too much, or you won't get any height on your soufflé."  
  
De whisk felt strange in my hand, but as long as I saw it as another tool t' master, I wasn't half bad. Dere was enough talent in my hands t' cover a variety of t'ings.  
  
Suddenly, de teacher's voice was in my ear. "Looking good, Mr. LeBeau. Give it about 30 seconds more before you pour it into the rest of your ingredients."  
  
De class had been a surprise t' me. I had expected somet'ing horrible, but it wasn't anywhere near dat. I was de only male and dat had caused some giggles in de younger girls when I walked in, but I'd ignored dem and staked out a stove at de side of de room. Been secretly grateful when de teacher--Ms. Rose--hadn't made me introduce myself. Kitty's was de only face I knew.  
  
But t'ings just seemed t' fly together under my touch. Dat's not t' say dat I was in a rush. I did everyt'ing carefully. Assembling de cheese soufflé had come easy from dat care. Reminded me of de time Henri first taught me t' crack a safe. "No sense in de rush," he'd said. "Do it right de first time and you'll do it better each time after."  
  
I poured my egg whites into de rest of de ingredients, stirred carefully and den poured de whole t'ing into a dish. Set de dish in a pan of water and put everyt'ing in de oven.  
  
Was reminded of Tante Mattie's cooking, dat always seemed half method an' half magic. De same ingredients combined t' make somet'ing slightly different each time.  
  
After home ec came lunch and I wanted t' see Rogue. We'd barely glimpsed each other, both running out of de house dat morning. Dere was somet'ing 'bout her dat seemed quieter dan normal and I wanted t' find out why. I also wanted t' feed her some of my soufflé and hear her exclaim wit' surprise an' delight.  
  
Had de necklace in my pocket and I could feel it every time I took a step, but I didn't know exactly what t' do wit' it. Obviously, I couldn't leave it in my room where anyone might find it. Too many years of hiding my t'ings. Too many t'ieves in de family. Stuck my hand in my pocket and ran de tip of one finger along de metal.  
  
"Hey," Kitty slid over t' my oven. "I can't believe it," she said, wit' mock anger, "it's your first day and you're totally mopping the floor with me. Tell me you've done this before." She had flour dusted in de ends of her hair. Amazing considering dat dere was no flour in de soufflé.  
  
Shook my head. "Watched a lot while my Tante Mattie cooked t'ings."  
  
"Tante?"  
  
"Like aunt. My Aunt Mattie."  
  
"Oh, okay." Kitty wrinkled up her nose. "Still, that makes it even more unfair."  
  
"Promise t' burn somet'ing tomorrow if dat makes you feel better, chére."  
  
"Nah." She laughed. "I'm only taking this dumb class because woodshop was full."  
  
"Lance?" Rogue had told me all 'bout Lance and Kitty, but it felt strange t' be making a comment about somet'ing I hadn't been witness to.  
  
Kitty blushed a little. "At first. But I actually kinda like it. I'm really good with the lathe," she finished proudly. I was surprised at dat, den ashamed dat I should be so quick t' judge someone on dere manners and dress. "So can I, like, ask you something?" she asked after a silence.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Did you and Rogue, y'know..."  
  
"God damn Kurt."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone keep saying that? There are other people in the house, you know."  
  
"Right."  
  
"It wasn't Kurt!" Kitty protested defensively. I'd noticed dat she was quick t' protect Kurt's honor in general and I wondered 'bout de history between dem. "Just forget I ever said anything, okay? It's none of my business."  
  
"Got dat right."  
  
"It's just that...well...Rogue's never done anything like this before and I know she likes to seem all tough," Kitty bit her lip, "but she's really not in some ways. And I can tell there's something wrong. I'm worried."  
  
I sighed. Never could resist a femme in distress, but it was better t' tell her what she needed t' hear den t' tell her de whole truth. "We didn't."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We didn't. T'ink 'bout it, how could we? Rogue is Rogue and last I checked, y' had t' be able t' touch someone t' have sex."  
  
Kitty's mouth dropped open a bit. "Shhh," she hissed. "Not so loud." Amazing how young she seemed sometimes. Or maybe it was dat she was young and I expected her t' act older since she spent some of her spare time helping t' save de world now and den. "Your soufflé is burning." She tossed de words over her shoulder on her way back t' her own oven.  
  
"Putain (fucking hell)!" I yanked it out of de oven. Luckily, only de edges were ruined--slightly more brown dan dey should have been. I saw Kitty pull her dish out of de oven and eye it dubiously.  
  
Ms. Rose appeared at my elbow. "Try to give it about five minutes less next time, okay?"  
  
Felt de suggestion like I'd been stung. "Okay," I agreed forcing as much cheerfulness into my voice as possible.  
  
Carefully, I cut a slice out of my soufflé and put it on a paper plate. De bell rang and I wove my way t'rough de crowds, heading for Rogue's locker. While I waited, I looked ruefully at de food I'd made dat was seeming more pitiful by de minute. Nervous, I stuck my hand into my pocket, brushing de necklace. It felt grittier somehow. When I took my hand out of my pocket dere were tiny scratches and specks of blood on my fingertips. Wrapped my hand into my coat, took out de necklace and brought it close t' my face. As I watched, tiny spikes, fluid as sea anemones, extended and grew.  
  
* * *  
  
Lady MR, Lucky439 + Niteflite: and to think, you only had to wait about a week for another update. Ah the holidays. And houseguests. And presents. All I want for Christmas is for Santa to give me a shiny, new radiator for my car. ;-) Glad you're enjoying it!  
  
ishandahalf: ahhh, no St. John in this one...well, not really, although his name did come up. But the plot thickens, right? Right? Jeez, no Remy/Rogue interaction either. But they were thinking about each other! And there was Kitty! I like Kitty okay, she's misunderstood or underestimated or something. At least my version of Kitty is.  
  
starlightz6: sweat it not about the reviewing thing. They're tan-fastic when I get them, although I love writing so much I'd probably still be doin' it even with no feedback at all. I'll admit, reviews sweeten the niceness though.  
  
Sujakata: I think Remy has mixed feelings about the Institute certainly. The problem with Remy (at least in the comics) is that he doesn't seem to have much purpose or direction to his life. He doesn't know what he wants, so at a certain point his motivations become completely fabricated on my part.  
  
Lace123: The last two stories were both kind of like a warm up for this one. Now that I'm pretty comfortable writing both characters and I'm confident that my little corner of the A.U.-verse is humming along nicely I feel like I've got more freedom to allow things to happen. As a result: mystery! romance! other x-men in an evo story! It's all very exciting. I have a very love/hate-type relationship with the holidays. Distributing gifts when most of the recipients are scattered to the far corners of the country is not high on my list of fun things to do. On the other hand, I do like those chocolate oranges that always come around about this time every year...  
  
xgirlrogue: See, now THAT would be the twist with Remy in home ec. I think it's cool that he's a super good cook and I thought it would be fun to work with that a little, even if he did spend most of his time yakking to Kitty.  
  
Neurotic Temptress: Thank you [blushes]. I suppose I should explain about the snowball fight. My thought was that when Remy said Rogue was warm, it was because he had his hands over her clothes but under her jacket, since he's constantly chilly. I think next chapter will definitely have to feature more of Remy-in-school. The situation is full of possibilities.  
  
evolutionary spider: Aha! More necklace mysteries. And weirdness. As far as Aussie slang is concerned, the main sites I use are:  
  
1. The Alternative Dictionaries (http://www.notam02.no/~hcholm/altlang/stat.html): a fun site with tons of slang from every language imaginable. I picked up some of Piotr's Russian here for the first story. There is a little bit of Cajun listed both under "Cajun" and "Acadian."  
  
2. Karen's Place in Cyberspace (http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Breakers/8092/ozslang.htm): a really extensive collection of Aussie slang  
  
3. The Charged Deck (http://www.sphosting.com/thecelt/Cajunlang.html): a Gambit-oriented fan page with a ton of useful Cajun phrases.  
  
4. The Cajun Language (http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/flats/4396/language.html): lots here, but it's a big page and may take a while to load.  
  
* * *  
  
In the immortal words of Krusty the Clown: Have a merry Christmas, happy Hannukah, kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn and dignified Ramadan. [a.n.--yeah, I know some of these are over, whatever] 


	5. confrontation

My goodness, I'm back from the land of the dead. After recovering from the New Year's sangria and champagne I've dashed off another part. Happy 2003! Here's to keeping all the resolutions you want to and breaking the ones you don't.  
  
* * *  
  
Ta say that lunch was interestin' might be understatin' the case. Ah'd barely reached my locker before Remy was wavin' somethin' in my face.  
  
"Taste dis," he insisted. He was blockin' my locker. Ah gently moved him aside, twirled the lock an' popped open the door.  
  
"Wait a sec, okay?" Ah exchanged the mornin's books for the afternoon's, took a deep breath an' steadied myself. Ah didn't want Remy ta know Ah was upset, even though practically the only thing Ah could think about was him an' John. Ah clenched my fists an' turned ta face him. "So what did ya want me ta taste?"  
  
"Soufflé," he replied. "Might be pretty cold by now." He sounded anxious an' Ah threw him a tiny smile before Ah remembered that Ah was supposed ta be mad at him. Tore off a little piece with my fingers an' popped it into my mouth. Even lukewarm it was amazin': smooth an' buttery.  
  
"Well?" Remy'd shoved his hands deep into his pockets.  
  
"Fantastic."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ah said it's great. Fantastic. Might even go so far as ta say it was fan- fuckin'-tastic." The last part was spoken carefully around more mouthfuls of soufflé.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"You're sayin' it like ya don't believe me or somethin'."  
  
"Non, I do."  
  
"Good."  
  
We stared at each other for a couple minutes. Ah licked my lips. Remy looked...Ah don't know how he looked. He looked like Friday night in bed. He looked like gettin' all the way ta third base an' takin' a long look at home.  
  
"Cafeteria," Ah suggested, tryin' ta lose the wobble in my voice that matched the wobble in my knees.  
  
"Y' mean we're not eating outside? Under de bleachers? Behind de gym?"  
  
Ah curled my hands into fists and put 'em on my hips. "Yeah an' if you'll ditch seventh period with me we can go smoke there too! That your idea of how ta make a misfit?"  
  
He stroked the side o' my face lightly with the tip o' his pinky. "T'ought dat dis might be your idea," he said, showin' me the streak o' white makeup on his skin.  
  
"Ya don't know anythin' about it. Ah don't understand how ya can just waltz in here an' think ya know everythin' there is ta know."  
  
Remy held up his hands. He looked confused. "Was a joke, chére. A joke."  
  
"A bad one," Ah managed, feelin' pressure build on the bridge o' my nose. Ah couldn't cry in front o' him. Ah just couldn't.  
  
We were passin' the bathrooms and Ah excused myself. Inside, Ah washed my hands and then pressed 'em against my face. They were cool an' damp. The necklace was jammed into a corner of one o' my front pockets. Ah pulled it out an' fastened it on.  
  
In the mirror, my eyes were a little brighter than normal, but other than that there was no sign that Ah'd been upset at all. Didn't know whether ta be pleased or disappointed 'bout that. The makeup was smooth an' flawless, like a mask or a still pool. Ah wiped my hands on my pants and rejoined Remy in the hall.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
Ah patted him on the cheek, enjoyin' the soft noise o' skin against skin. "Ah'm fine." And Ah was fine, because somethin' about that necklace made me feel better no matter what, like everythin' Ah'd been worried about before had all faded into this nice, soothin' hum at the back o' my mind. Before he could say anythin', Ah twirled on the balls o' my feet an' started off toward the cafeteria.  
  
"Wait!" he shouted. Wasn't long before he caught up, but by then we were right at the entryway an' even Remy didn't want ta cause a scene on his very first day o' school. The cafeteria was bright an' busy an' noisy, it seemed safe ta me, all those people. As if nothin' bad could ever happen there.  
  
"Hot line. Salad bar. Vendin' machines," Ah said, pointin' at each one. "Ah'd avoid the fish sticks if Ah were you. Anythin' fish really. Fries're okay but they go cold in less than ten seconds. Anythin' else is fair game as long as you don't expect miracles." Ah was all set ta escape Remy an' the inevitable questions Ah wouldn't be any more willin' or prepared ta answer than Ah'd been on Friday night, but before Ah could take a step his hand closed hard around my upper arm.  
  
He was practically growlin' in my ear. "Y' stay right wit' me, yeuhrm (do you hear)?" I got scared then. Strangely enough, it woulda been better if we'd been outside. Ah could have gotten away from him, yelled ta make someone come. But inside the crowded cafeteria with other people pressin' around no one was gonna pay attention ta us.  
  
All Ah knew was Ah didn't want ta tell him anythin', but Ah was afraid that he'd look at me an' beg me ta do it an' then Ah would, because in the end Ah felt like Ah couldn't refuse him anythin'. The necklace closed around my throat like another hand.  
  
* * *  
  
Held onto her because I was scared. Situations I could handle, easy, and most people too. I could have charmed de secret out of her, but dere was some perversity dat made me want for her t' tell me herself. But I knew dat de second I let go she'd weave away into de crowd and I'd never catch her.  
  
We stumbled t'rough de hot line, standing close. I threw everyt'ing I could reach onto de tray and paid, juggling my money one-handed. Dere was an unoccupied corner and I steered Rogue into it.  
  
"Sit."  
  
De way she looked at me, wit' narrowed eyes, was like she hated me. In all de time I'd known her she'd never looked at me like dat. Not even in de beginning when she had all de reason in de world.  
  
"Can Ah sit on the other side or are ya afraid Ah'll make a run for it?"  
  
"Cut de crap, huh."  
  
"Ah don't believe Ah was the first one ta start in on this bullshit," she spat back, flinging her arms across her chest and sitting heavily on de seat as if she were daring it t' break.  
  
Opened my mouth t' reply--cut her as much as she seemed t' want t' cut me-- but den I stopped. Realized dat she was just as scared as I was.  
  
"Don't want t' fight wit' you 'bout dis, but I do want t' know what's going on."  
  
"Ah told ya before, it's nothin'."  
  
Shook my head. "Didn't believe y' den and I still don't."  
  
She looked away, her hair falling across her face so I couldn't guess what she was t'inking. When she spoke next it was so quiet I couldn't hear.  
  
"Comment (what)?"  
  
"Ah said, what're you an' John doin' meetin' out in th' woods?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, Ms. Monroe an' the Professor know all about it, who knows who else. Caught on tape."  
  
Went cold at dat. Absolutely frigid. "Don't know what..."  
  
"Now you cut th' crap," she hissed. When she looked at me I could see dat she was more dan willing t' play it rough. De way I saw it, could go two ways. We could each keep our secrets, holding what we knew about de other like a loaded gun t' keep everyt'ing quiet, or...  
  
"He was giving me information," I admitted. Dat stopped her. She hadn't expected me t' tell her at all. Stung a little dat her faith must be so frail, but den, before, I might not have cared 'nough t' tell anyone de truth. "Didn't want t' do it in front of de group, y' understand. John knows me, might even like me in a way."  
  
She finally recovered her voice. "What information?"  
  
"John didn't come back into town for fun."  
  
"Magneto...Mystique."  
  
"Moreau too."  
  
Her eyes went wide. "Well, we gotta tell the Professor about this. He thinks you're..."  
  
Shook my head violently. "Don't care what he t'inks or any of dem. Dey were always going t' t'ink what dey wanted 'bout me sans doute (doubtless)."  
  
"But..." De bell rang. All around, de other students started pressing out of de cafeteria. Quick like dey suddenly realized dey were late for some important appointment. We stayed perfectly still.  
  
"I owe John a lot more dan I want t' t'ink about. He's de one dat helped us get away from dat lab in Genosha. I can keep dis secret for him. Have t'." Dug into my pocket, pulled out de necklace and poured it into her hand. "Here. He gave me dis t' play wit'. Mebbe we can figure out a way t' sneak into Mr. McCoy's lab and test it."  
  
She seemed hypnotized by de bit of metal in her palm. "Where...where did John get this?"  
  
Shrugged. "He stole it from Magneto and Moreau, why?" Second bell.  
  
Her mouth worked, but no sound came out. She touched her neck, flustered.  
  
"D'you know what dis is, Rogue?"  
  
"Ah..."  
  
"Y' can tell me." Was pleading wit' her den but I didn't really care.  
  
"Ah want ta, it's just..."  
  
A heavy hand landed on my shoulder. "Second bell. Better get a move on before you're too late."  
  
When I looked back across de table, Rogue was gone. And den it came t' me slow motion like a cauchemar (nightmare). Her hands fluttering at her throat. De wealth of necklaces dere. De way she'd looked Friday night. Marks on her neck, marks on my hands. It was all de same--hiding in plain sight.  
  
* * *  
  
Roguechere: see, sometimes I feel like ff.net is SO big that I can miss out on lots of stories just because I happen to check at the wrong time of day or something. I'm glad you're enjoying the story since I'm having a helluva lot of fun writing it. John does indeed have a crush on Mystique (awww) which is kind of conjecturally comic-based because I am a big comics dork like that.  
  
MiraiTigerlily: thanks so much!  
  
evolutionary spider: no prob! I am the queen of internet research and I'm always happy to share the bounties of my time googling. Eek! I'm getting worse with the updates or something though...  
  
Lucky439: here ya go. Happy reading!  
  
ishandahalf: hey, they were together in this chapter! Umm...not so much with the ubermushiness though, but they had some issues to work through. There was...uh...some pleasantness...  
  
Neurotic Temptress: ta da! Here's yer conflict, although I have a feeling it's only beginning to play out (she has a FEELING?! As the author, shouldn't she know?!) I also have a little twist in mind for next chapter that might surprise you. Then again it might not.  
  
Flyby Stardancer: seems like everyone wanted to see some R&R conflict (with the exception of ishandahalf who wanted the ubermushiness) and I'm proud to deliver. I do hate that they seem to be fighting so much, but I have faith that they'll come out okay in the end. Luckily the soufflé was only...ah...singed and as such still HIGHLY edible.  
  
starlightz6: just for you (and my own peace of mind quite frankly) I have the "He looked like Friday night in bed. He looked like gettin' all the way ta third base an' takin' a long look at home." line. I think that's as close to explicit as I wanna go or this fic will cease to be fun for the whole family (as long as you ignore Remy & Rogue swearing a lot).  
  
Lace123: I'm glad I could offer a bit of respite. Chuck E. Cheese [shudder] my parents must have really loved me to take me there when I was a kid...although come to think of it I only went like 3 times so maybe not... Despite my initial knee-jerk dislike of Kitty I actually do like her now.  
  
Sujakata: Well he certainly does now. Yikes. I think Rogue needs a little time to process things before they have their second confrontation though. Poor girl.  
  
Panther Nesmith: Shoplifting gifts...heh. I used to work at this store that took returns without a receipt. Gangs of GROWN women used to come in and steal stuff and then return it and get lots of money. Five bucks a week? You have my sympathies.  
  
rain finder: I think Remy may be insecure about a lot of things and the whole debonair attitude is sort of a front. There's a Liz Phair song called "Chopsticks" where she's singing about meeting this guy at a party and their conversation and she's talking all big, but in the end she just drops him off at his house and goes home alone because "secretly, I'm timid." Kind of my take on the character.  
  
Jean1: Thanks! I'm trying to come at things sideways just because I think it's interesting (also I can be a bastard and make my revelations in smaller increments that way).  
  
Freeverse: Yay! Hooked! I'm assuming you meant the Aussie slang that St. John uses and I can see how that might be strange. I wanted to be able to make his speech patterns distinctive and having never met an Aussie before it's hard to judge when I've gone too far (also finding Aussie slang fascinating doesn't help). I do have some experience with the British and, on the whole, they use their distinctive slang quite frequently. Chalk it up to me being a tad self-conscious writing it, therefore it doesn't seem as organic to the story. I'll have to look at my future slang more closely. 


	6. conversation

* * *  
  
Ah arrived in English class all flustered an' out o' breath. No one seemed ta notice an' Ah dropped into my customary chair at the back o' the room, grateful again for the willful blindness o' the public education system.  
  
"Alie tech tuigthe tecchartha," Mr. Owens was sayin'. For a minute Ah was afraid Ah'd stumbled into the wrong class.  
  
Then the door kinda banged open an' Remy was there in my class. For a second Ah was afraid he'd followed me, just so he could get the truth 'bout the necklace. Ah half-rose in my seat, prepared ta get him out o' there, with force if necessary.  
  
Across the room, Kitty looked back an' forth between me an' Remy before shootin' me a "what-th'-hell's-goin'-on here?" look. Ah shrugged at her an' refocused my attention on Remy. Seemed like he hadn't even seen me though.  
  
"Dis honors English?" he asked. He seemed in control, but Ah could see that his chest was risin' an' fallin' a little faster than normal an' Ah guessed he'd run from the cafeteria.  
  
"Yes, it is," Mr. Owens replied evenly. The look on his face made it seem like he didn't believe Remy could belong in th' class.  
  
Remy dug in his pocket an' pulled out a schedule so crumpled it looked like he'd been chewin' on it in his spare time.  
  
"Remy LeBeau," he said, with a little flourish. Ah could tell he was fightin' th' urge ta ham it up with a bow or somethin'.  
  
"Ah, Mister LeBeau. I was wondering if you'd show up."  
  
"First day," he said, givin' that effortless, elegant shrug that still had the power ta annoy me. Then he smiled an' Ah swear some o' the girls in class sat up a little straighter. "I'll do better tomorrow, I promise."  
  
"Right. You can grab a Norton anthology off the back ledge and turn to page 487. We were just about to discuss Courtney Bambrick's poem, My Address." Remy did what Mr. Owens asked without a word. Ah have ta say Ah was astonished. Hard as it was ta picture Remy in school, Ah never woulda pegged him for a serious student, or even a halfway serious one. Not in a million years. "You can take the empty seat behind Ms. Pryde there."  
  
Remy looked over at Kitty. She gave him a little wave an' he winked at her 'causin' about a million angry looks from some o' the other girls. Felt a little prick o' jealousy at that. Not that he even knew Ah was there, but Kitty was perky an' pretty. She reminded me o' Bella in a lot o' ways, or mebbe how Bella might have been away from the Assassins an' the blood feuds. Relaxed an' girlish.  
  
Ah told myself it was nonsense an' Ah sat back in my chair a little. Watchin' th' other girls watch Remy was almost as good as goin' ta the circus.  
  
"Alie tech tuigthe tecchartha..." Mr. Owens repeated. "I ask for a thatch- sheltered house..." Workin' quickly, Ah flipped ta the right page an' skimmed the poem. Here an' there, phrases jumped out at me: "the foot of the / compass holding," "Under / creased, clean sheets," "I make my bed / new each night. I ache / to make it old."  
  
When Ah was done, Ah was free ta look around the classroom. Ah saw Kitty scribblin' frantically on a piece of paper an' as Ah watched, she finished up, folded th' paper into a neat square an' dropped it on Remy's desk. He opened it, read with interest, wrote somethin' of his own an' passed th' note back ta her. Ah wondered if they were passin' notes about me, wonderin' what was wrong. Ah looked down at my book an' fumed, knowin' my anger an' fear were irrational but unable ta do anythin' about 'em.  
  
"Mister LeBeau," Mr. Owens said an' my head snapped up, wonderin' if they'd been caught, "why don't you tell us your impressions of the poem?"  
  
"Trial by fire, hein?"  
  
"Something like that. Let's just say I place a lot of value on class participation."  
  
"Mais (well), de first t'ing dat grabbed me was de use of Gaelic in de opening stanza. I t'ink dat does two t'ings for de poem: as de language of Irish Nationalism, it sets de mood of longing for a place t' belong and den it also puts de reader outside de poem, so dat we become alienated from de poem just like de poet is alienated from her surroundings."  
  
Mr. Owens looked amazed. Ah cheered silently for Remy.  
  
"Any...anything else?"  
  
Another shrug. "De bit about digging reminded me of dat poem by Seamus Heaney, but I'd have t' t'ink 'bout dat for a bit before I decide if it means anyt'ing."  
  
Remy was waitin' for me after class. He touched my arm an' Ah tried not ta flinch away, but Ah think he could tell because he took his hand away almost immediately.  
  
"Didn't see y' 'till de end of class, beb."  
  
"Ya seemed ta be havin' enough fun on your own," Ah replied. It was mostly unsarcastic. "Didn't want ta interrupt your grand entrance or anythin'."  
  
He smiled. "Dat Mr. Owens a handful."  
  
"Yeah, he can be kind of a hard ass, but he's a real good teacher most o' the time."  
  
"Just don't like people lookin' at me like I don't belong."  
  
"Ah guess ya convinced him you're worthy. What was all that stuff about Gaelic an' Seamus Heaney?"  
  
Remy looked embarrassed an' rubbed th' back o' his neck. "Dat was all Bella. She went t'rough a 'European' phase once and read her way across starting wit' Ireland. Not sure if she ever made it t' Russia though. Dere was a time when y' couldn't talk t' her wit'out her spouting off some poem or line from a book. She even got me interested. Some of it's not too bad."  
  
Bullied him into readin' was probably more like it, knowin' Bella, but Ah didn't want him ta know Ah thought that.  
  
"You an' Kitty seemed ta keep busy enough," Ah said casually.  
  
He looked at me sharply. "Don't start seeing t'ings dat aren't dere, okay? Kitty wanted t' know about de soufflé. Remember dat?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"We're in de class together."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Mebbe y' want t' tell me what y' wanted t' say at lunch?"  
  
"Ye...yeah." But right up against it, th' words seemed too big an' my nerve slipped again. "After school, okay? Ah'll meet ya."  
  
* * *  
  
De rest of de time crawled by, wit' each second seeming wrung from de clock, but finally de day was over and de halls were bursting wit' students dat seemed happier and more energetic den I'd seen dem all day. Didn't want t' take chances, so I met Rogue at her locker, waiting while she packed up her bag.  
  
We turned up our collars and stepped into de cold outside. Scott was waiting dere, de hood on his car up. Jean sat in de passenger's seat wit de window rolled down. Scott leaned over and called t' Rogue.  
  
"You comin'?" he asked.  
  
"Nah, Remy's givin' me a ride."  
  
Scott looked at me dubiously. Wanted t' dislike de boy, but I couldn't. Dere was hardly enough dere t' dislike. He was like toast: a good base for a lot of t'ings, but hardly de main attraction. Was obvious dat he didn't t'ink too much of me.  
  
"Suit yourself," he finally said.  
  
Jean rolled up de window and dey took off, mebbe a little faster dan he'd planned. De back of his car fishtailed slightly on de pavement, wet wit' melting snow.  
  
"Ya know this ain't in season," Rogue commented when we reached my motorcycle. She smiled t' let me know she was kidding.  
  
"I'll remember t' be more fashionable next time. Y' want t' drive?"  
  
"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "Ya haven't...Ah mean, did Logan tell ya about that time that Ah..."  
  
She was nervous an' babbling. Not nervous 'bout de bike and not about only de collar either, but I figured dat she'd tell me in time what de real problem was. Impulsively, I leaned in and covered her mouth wit' mine. Was a quick kiss t' get her attention.  
  
At least it was supposed t' be.  
  
After a second of surprise, she knotted her hands in my hair, tugging enough t' hurt. Her lower lip between my teeth, I bit down harder dan I'd intended and she exclaimed softly, pulling our bodies tightly together. Even t'rough de heavy coats I could still feel her shape. Her lips slid down my jaw t' my neck and her tongue traced a vein. I shivered and stroked her sides, stopping just at de swell of her breasts.  
  
We were propped against de seat on my bike. Dere was somet'ing poking into me, but she nipped my neck and I forgot all 'bout dat. Stretched my fingers across her chest and she stopped what she was doing long enough t' gasp. Was like magic, when her lips left my neck I suddenly remembered where we were. Looked over Rogue's shoulder t' see Kurt staring wide-eyed. Amanda was wit' him, her back t' us, and when he nudged her she turned around and waved cheerfully. I waved back.  
  
Looked at Rogue. Her lips were pink from kissing and her eyelids looked heavy. Dangerous.  
  
"Better get home before we're arrested, neh?" I suggested.  
  
"Whatever ya want," she said. She grabbed de keys out of my hand, jumped on de bike and started it smoothly. "You're comin', right?"  
  
"Try and stop me." I jumped on behind her and wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. She felt warm, de heat from her body was practically scorching my face, and a good t'ing too because de drive back was into de wind. I buried my face in de back of her coat and t'ought of summer.  
  
It was nearly half an hour after we arrived back at de Institute before we could find time t' talk. De new recruits were down in de Danger Room and so dat left de rest of de house relatively empty. Not wanting Kurt or Kitty t' walk in uninvited, we chose Jubilee's room, figuring she'd be de least likely t' notice if somet'ing was out of place.  
  
We sat cross legged on de floor, facing each other.  
  
"So..." I began.  
  
"So what?" Rogue was examining her nails.  
  
I caught her chin and forced her t' look at me. "Don't make dis harder dan it has t' be."  
  
She sighed, pulling de sound from somewhere deep inside. "You're right. Ah mean ya told me 'bout you an' John an' Ah owe it ta you ta be honest." She tilted her hips toward me and eased de necklace out of her pocket, and den she sat dere, spilling it from hand t' hand.  
  
"Stop," I suggested, stilling her hands wit' mine and taking de necklace gently from her. "Y' know somet'ing 'bout dis, Rogue."  
  
She pressed her lips into a tight line and nodded. It occurred t' me dat I'd never seen her so scared.  
  
"Ah...Ah have one," she said quietly.  
  
"I know."  
  
Den she looked up at me, a flash of anger in her eyes that quickly died. Dat scared me even more. "Well then what the hell did ya want me ta tell ya for?"  
  
"I only just figured it out today. At lunch. But what I don't know is where y' got it or what it does."  
  
Her eyes were watery, but de whole story came tumbling out den: de woods, de Professor, stealing de collar and testing it, her happiness when she figured out dat it worked.  
  
"We don't have ta tell the others, right? We can figure out what it is an' not tell 'em. Ah wouldn't tell anyone 'bout you an' John."  
  
"We can. But y' can't use it anymore," I told her sternly. "It comes from Magneto and we don't know what else it could do."  
  
"You're right. Ah know you're right, but it just seemed so amazin' at first. Like a dream."  
  
"Touched her cheek and she leaned into my hand. "I know."  
  
"Ah wanted ta be just like a regular person for awhile. Just for a laugh, Ah wanted us ta be normal." She swallowed hard. "Ah want you ta take it off." Wasn't sure if it was because she didn't t'ink she had de will t' do it or if she didn't want de decision t' be only hers, but I got up and moved so I could crouch behind her. Trailed my fingers along de side of her neck and I felt de fine hairs prick up. "Ready?" I asked her.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
I lifted up her hair.  
  
"Rogue?" I asked, trying hard t' keep panic from my voice.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I don't see it."  
  
"What?" I heard her breath coming in shallow, frightened gasps.  
  
"It isn't dere." Touched her neck and den I knew de whole story. De necklace was dere, nestled under her skin. Could feel de hard bump against my hand.  
  
* * *  
  
What's this I hear about no more evo eps 'till spring?! We are not amused, that's all I can say. Well, I'll just have to get my fix by pretending that fanfic = reality and this is all just some transcribed episode... Either that or I'm off to cry in the corner now.  
  
Oh! In my sorrow I almost forgot that "My Address," the poem (or portions of poem) in this part is an actual piece. It was published in my college's lit mag when I was a freshman and I liked it so much that I stuck it in my fictive Norton Anthology. So all that's the property of Courtney Bambrick.  
  
ishandahalf: Some ubermushiness here, coupled with...plot twists! ah hahahahaha! I'm glad you like my Remy. I'm partial to him myself and I personally believe he's got his insecurities (don't we all??). But, y'know, Remy wouldn't be Remy unless he could fascinate a room full of girls. ;-)  
  
Roguechere: Old suspense over. Long live new suspense! The hard thing to do with a longer story, I'm discovering, is keeping the tension up. Like things should be happening all the time, but if TOO many things happen and you have too many threads to weave together it just never happens, or it takes like a zillion chapters to do it.  
  
Lady MR: I've seen it hypothesized that the comic-verse St. John has a thing for Mystique (she being the only discernable reason he joined the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants) and I thought it might be interesting to play with it here. Nothing will be overt ever, of course, but it helps me to get more of a grasp of St. John's motivations. Just to clear things up vis a vis the sex issue (young'uns shield your eyes now): no, they didn't go "all the way" (i.e. penetrative sex), I don't think that Rogue could downshift that fast-- going from not being able to touch anyone to sex is a BIG step and I don't think she's ready; I DO think they "fooled around" in a pretty serious way. I'm glad that Remy was honest too, but I think he realized that the only way to gain Rogue's trust was to be honest with her, and moreover to be honest first.  
  
Sujakata: Thanks! I'm never sure how to feel about Remy's "charm" power. It seems to come and go. But now all the secrets are out and they'll have to deal with the new development together. I'm finding it challenging to write a balanced story. As I mentioned before, the first story in this series was Rogue's and the second was Remy's and so this is supposed to be about both of them. I always tend to pull one way or the other rather than walk that line in between.  
  
starlightz6: Things are certainly out in the open now, or rather they're not since the necklace is kind of stuck where it is.  
  
Neurotic Temptress: I like my Remy imperfect. A lot of comic writers make him TOO suave, not that he isn't, but he's only human...er...mutant and they're fallible too (glares at comic writers). I'll work on writing that crappy chapter for ya. Perhaps this is the one. ;)  
  
Panther Nesmeth: See comment to ishandahalf on the ubermushiness. Maybe it's because I'm not ubermushy myself? I always have to qualify the romantic scenes with the plot driven scenes. Bobby dancing nude to...hee. Woo. Um, I probably won't be writing THAT scene too soon, so don't worry.  
  
evolutionary spider: I don't know how much they trust the other x-men. Especially Scott & Jean. When I write them it's like they have minds of their own. I have embarrassingly little control over the actions of Remy and/or Rogue. I am a big, phony, pretends-like-she's-in-charge author. ;-)  
  
Vagabond: Understandable. I had a horrible time even posting that part. (grumbles about ff.net) Some parts just take a bit longer to coalesce than others I suppose.  
  
Lace123: How's the end of THIS chapter for a hook? This is the stage I wanted to get to with the necklace since the beginning. In fact, I had to restrain myself from putting it in earlier because I wanted narrative precedent, a suspenseful buildup and whatnot.  
  
girl4chat86: Thanks! I love all my regular reviewers (you guys are the best! mwa!) And it's always nice to hear from new people.  
  
Christy S: Confrontation over and done with. New problems await on the horizon for our intrepid heroes.  
  
Jean 1: I love me some Gambit the cook too. I still remember that Christmas episode from the old show where he and Jean were fighting in the kitchen because he said she didn't know how to cook properly. Ha! The rest of the episode was kind of.forgettable, but I'll remember those scenes forever.  
  
Flyby Stardancer: Y'know, I love plotless romance too. I just can't write it for the life of me. But that's okay. To each her own.  
  
Freeverse: Always nice to run across a fellow comics nerd. (Although DC is more the source of my nerdliness.) I am much saddened by the non-presence of Remy or Rogue in X-Treme these days. Sniff. 


	7. decisions

* * *  
  
Funny how things change so quick. Remy took my hand in his an' raised my fingers ta my neck so Ah could touch where the necklace used ta be. Before that Ah hadn't felt any different, but as soon as Ah could feel that thing in my skin the room tilted all kaleidoscope crazy. Ah closed my eyes an' waited for it ta stop spinnin'.  
  
"Get it out," Ah demanded softly, soundin' calmer than Ah felt.  
  
"Don't t'ink dat's a good idea, chére."  
  
Ah thought o' the spikes on the inside o' the collar, thought o' them growin' down into my skin, reachin' for my veins, dissolvin' into my flesh. Ah swallowed with difficulty an' Ah swear Ah could feel 'em pokin' into my throat. "Get it out!" Ah shrieked, clawin' at the bump. Ah imagined Ah felt it sinkin' under my fingers.  
  
"Chére! Chére!" Remy grabbed my hands an' pulled 'em down into my lap. "It's okay, ma petit belle. Ma douce. Everyt'ing fine."  
  
"Everythin's not fine an' you know it! Why even bother ta lie 'bout it?" Ah dropped my head against his chest an' he stroked my hair. He was murmurin' somethin', Ah couldn't make out the words, but the soft brush o' his breath against my cheek was enough ta calm me a little.  
  
Gently, Remy tilted my head back an' touched my throat. "Not far under yet," he said after a breathless minute. His voice sounded choked.  
  
The doorknob rattled, givin' us just enough time ta jump apart. Jubilee poked her head in. We musta looked guilty, because she got a kind of exasperated look on her face. "Aw, man! You guuys!"  
  
"See?" Amara said, risin' on tiptoes ta see over Jubilee's shoulder. "I told you I heard something."  
  
"Okay, yeah. Everyone's real proud of you, Mare," Jubilee said, rolling her eyes. Then she turned her attention back ta us. "Um, so, would you mind making out in your own rooms?"  
  
"Not that you two have any problem with that," Amara added.  
  
"Comment (how)...?" Remy began with a dangerous look on his face.  
  
Jubilee an' Amara giggled. Damn Ray anyway, Ah thought.  
  
Ah put a hand on his arm. "It's okay." Ah rose ta my feet. "Sorry," Ah told the two laughin' girls. "We just lost track o' time."  
  
"That's all right," Jubilee said graciously.  
  
"Yeah," Amara added. "It's probably the most action this room's seen in a long time."  
  
"Hey!" Jubilee punched her playfully an' the two of 'em collapsed into laughter again.  
  
The cheerful noise seemed ta be comin' over a long distance. Under my hand, Remy's muscles grew tighter an' tighter until they seemed like steel cables. Ah could tell he was itchin' ta say somethin' nasty; Ah barely managed ta yank him through th' door.  
  
"Airheads!" he spat.  
  
"Shh!" Ah touched his cheek. It was a little scratchy with stubble. "They don't know what's goin' on. Ya cain't blame 'em for that."  
  
"Guess not," Remy admitted grudgingly. Suddenly, he straightened.  
  
"Ah don't like the look in your eye."  
  
"What look?"  
  
"You've got an idea."  
  
"I do." Couldn't help but feel a surge o' hope at that.  
  
"But it doesn't involve th' Professor."  
  
"Non."  
  
"Or Mr. McCoy."  
  
"Non."  
  
We looked at each other quietly for a moment, an' then Ah knew what he wouldn't say. "You're goin' ta Magneto for help?"  
  
"Not quite. Dr. Moreau helped us before, he..."  
  
"Absolutely out o' the question!"  
  
"Shh! Keep your voice down, beb." He moved ta put his arms around me, but Ah shoved him back, hard as Ah could.  
  
"Don't 'beb' me, Cajun! How's it so hard for ya ta ask people here for help? You're just gonna go off ta get killed! An' for what? If you won't swallow your pride enough ta ask 'em, Ah will! It's not even your damn neck!"  
  
"No, but it's my..."  
  
"Your what?" Ah snapped.  
  
Remy slumped down against the wall, bent his knees an' wrapped his arms 'round his legs. He bowed his head an' wouldn't look at me for the longest time.  
  
Finally, Ah dropped ta my knees in front o' him. "Your what?" Ah repeated gently. Those butterflies Ah sometimes got around him were back an' holdin' tapdancin' lessons in my stomach.  
  
"Mon coeur (my heart). C'est mon coeur."  
  
Ah sat back on my heels, stunned. "What did you say?" Ah whispered.  
  
"My heart," he said, sounding as if each syllable were wrung outta him.  
  
Ah covered my mouth with my fingers. "Oh my god."  
  
He jumped ta his feet, pushin' past me. "Dat's why I have t' go! If I can find John he can take me t' Moreau. Den dis'll all be over an' you'll be safe." He reached out his hand, as if he were about ta help me up, but Ah was still in shock an' so Ah didn't act quick enough. By the time Ah'd recovered myself the hallway was empty.  
  
Behind me, the door ta Amara an' Jubilee's room creaked open an' they stuck their heads out. "Did you guys just break up?" Jubilee asked, concerned.  
  
Ah turned, ready ta tell 'em everythin' was fine, but the words wouldn't come out. My eyes filled with tears. Ah tore off down the hallway toward my own room.  
  
"You're too good for him, Rogue!" Ah heard Amara call after me.  
  
Kitty barely looked up when Ah rushed into the room, but once she saw my waterin' eyes, she jumped up right away.  
  
"Oh my god, are you all right? What happened?" She smoothed her hand down my back just like she was my mom or somethin'. An Ah didn't want ta do it, but the whole story came out. Kitty listened silently, for once not offerin' her opinion 'till Ah'd finished it all.  
  
When Ah was done, Ah looked up ta find her regardin' me seriously with a hint o' somethin' else.  
  
"You can't just let him go off alone!" she said vehemently.  
  
"Ah'm in no condition ta go after him," Ah protested.  
  
She shook her head. "Neither of you get it, do you? You don't have to do anything, like, by yourselves. We're all just standing around, waiting for you to realize that we can help! As if we don't have anything better to do or something." The last part was equal parts exasperation an' sarcasm.  
  
"But..."  
  
Kitty held up a hand. "Let me finish, okay? I'm kinda on a roll here. You've got something with Remy, but if you go off alone, even if it's for the best and noblest reasons in the world, you're gonna lose out in the end. He'll be gone and then you'll..." she trailed off an' blinked hard. When she looked at me again, her eyes were suspiciously bright.  
  
"I'll what?"  
  
"You'll regret it more than anything," she finished thickly. It was right about then Ah realized what Ah'd seen in her eyes before was her own regret about Lance.  
  
"Let's go see the Professor," Ah suggested.  
  
* * *  
  
"Need somet'ing like de Bat Signal," I suggested once John called me back. When we'd met de last time, I'd demanded an emergency system, so I could call him. He'd come up with a complicated series of payphone calls, but still, after executing de system flawlessly, I had t' wait in de cold forty- five minutes for his call.  
  
"Y'know I wouldn't go for anything that flashy," John replied. T'ought of his red hair and bright red suit and I had t' smile.  
  
"Starting t' feel like your jilted lover." "Darling, you know you're the only boy for me," he cackled. "But I'm sure ya didn't call up to shoot the shit all day."  
  
"Non. Of course not."  
  
"Well, what d'you want then?"  
  
"I need t' see Dr. Moreau."  
  
"Easier said than done, mate."  
  
"I have faith in you."  
  
"Funny how desperation turns into faith if only you let it sit long enough."  
  
"Y' gonna help me or not? Because right now you're wasting my time," I snapped.  
  
"So I guess ya didn't find out what that lil' doohickey's for, eh?" Met his question wit' stony silence. "Okay!" he protested. "Don't get your knickers in a twist. I was only trying t' lighten the mood is all."  
  
Thankfully, we were able t' make plans t' meet wit'out any more of John's wisecracks. He specified a town, 60 miles away, and a diner and a time. Figured t' let him have t'ings his way.  
  
"Obviously I can't bring Dr. Moreau with me, but I'll tell you where t' find 'im," John promised. "Can't do much more than that."  
  
"Dat's all I need," I said grimly, but John had already hung up.  
  
Swung a leg over my bike and started it. It was going t' take some creative shortcuts t' get dere in time.  
  
Underneath my hands, de engine idled impatiently. Could feel de vibrations t'rough my hands. De natural state of a motorcycle is motion, and de t'ing dat I liked most 'bout my bike was how it didn't give me much chance t' t'ink of anyt'ing else. Usually, I had t' be so focused on de road and maneuvering dat all my problems seemed t' just fly away.  
  
Not dis time. Dis time my problem was about five foot five and blue wit' a German accent. He came outta nowhere and dropped gracefully onto de front of my bike.  
  
"Remy, vait!"  
  
Put away de cards I'd automatically begun charging.  
  
"Kurt! You're lucky I didn't blow your head off!"  
  
Kurt held up his hands. "I know. I know. Never sneak up on you again, right? I've heard zat story before. Mostly from Scott." He rubbed de back of his neck ruefully.  
  
Shut off de engine. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm trying to stop you from doing something stupid." He relaxed a little, or as much as anyone can when they're sitting on de handlebars of a motorcycle. "I overheard you and Rogue. I couldn't help it. And I don't exactly know vhat's going on, but I think zat you're making a mistake."  
  
"Y' followed me here from de Institute?"  
  
Kurt nodded proudly. "It vasn't easy, believe me."  
  
"And no one knows you're here, oui?"  
  
"No, no one..." he trailed off, eluded me when I tried t' catch hold of him. "Hey!"  
  
"Sorry, but y' can't go wit' me."  
  
"And vhy not?" Kurt responded indignantly. "It's not like I've never done anything dangerous before."  
  
I smiled, making Kurt scowl. "You want t' know de last t'ing I did before I came and joined up wit' you? I tracked a killer t'rough Nawlins. Was on de streets for a month straight at lest. Finally, me and de other t'ieves found him down in de sewers, down where it's dark and slimy and de smell's so bad it smells like not'ing." I closed my eyes, before finishing viciously. "Want t' know how I killed him? He didn't t'ink we would do it, but he begged at de end." Dat one, small 'please' echoed in my head.  
  
"Remy, please..."  
  
"Dere was not'ing else t' do. He was a killer, a child-molester, le fou (crazy)." If I t'ought 'bout it I could still feel de blood spattered on my face.  
  
"Remy?" Kurt sounded scared. Good. Dat would keep him away. I opened my eyes. Kurt looked more determined dan ever. He stuck his chin out. "You can't frighten me zat easily."  
  
"Den y' must be stupider or crazier than you look, because it scares me."  
  
"Have you told Rogue?"  
  
"Rogue's got her own problems, but I guess y' know dat already."  
  
"Yes, but isn't that vhat you do with ze people you...I mean, I know zat's not my place..."  
  
"You're right, it isn't."  
  
"All I vant to say is zat people who care for each other don't need to keep secrets."  
  
"Dat's not de way I was brought up."  
  
"Me neither." Kurt looked at me steadily and I shook my head.  
  
"Can see dat I'm not 'bout t' win dis argument, neh?"  
  
"Finally, we agree on something!" Kurt 'ported t' de space in back of me.  
  
"You at least told her how you feel, right?"  
  
Angrily, I started de engine again. "For what dat's worth."  
  
"A lot, I'm sure."  
  
"You know, of course."  
  
"A brother knows."  
  
It occurred t' me, once we were on our way, dat what he'd said hadn't even startled me. Guess den I figured dat dere was not'ing left t' surprise me.  
  
* * * starlightz6: ah, it would be waay too easy to let the necklace do all the work in controlling Rogue's powers. But I would certainly agree with your assessment that its removal won't be simple or fun (hopefully the reading of said solution will be though!)  
  
Freeverse: this is my own little twist on the Genoshan collar (before my comics-reading time too, also it's fun to play with established elements, this is, after all, fanfic). As far as I know they didn't become a more permanent part of the landscape. I think it was just some random part of his motorcycle poking him.  
  
Roguechere: Thanks! Y'know, I think I'll be sad when this story is over because it's so much fun to write. Not that it'll be over anytime REAL soon, but still.  
  
Lace123: Yeah, there's no way the necklace is gonna be a secret anymore. I have such mixed feelings about the Professor--like I know he's a telepath and junk, but does he have to be SUCH a know-it-all?  
  
Bunny Angel: I'm always so impressed when people go back and read the other ones. Like, sometimes I'll pull them up just for fun and dayum, they're...um...substantial. I never imagined writing 100+ pages of anything at the beginning.  
  
Lady MR: Well, there's some Kurt in this part, and some angst too. I'm trying to bring in the other characters slowly because I think, at heart, both Remy and Rogue are loners for different reasons and they would be very reluctant to reach out for help. I always love me some Romy. That was definitely a weakness of the old show: too much Jean/Scott/Wolvie triangle- ness (I swear, if I had to hear Logan moan "Jeeean" one more time...)  
  
ishandahalf: I understand what you were saying about them being comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. I think they're very compatible, but part of the reason that's true is that they're both kind of secretive. So they have that in common (that's good!) but they're keeping secrets at the same time (that's bad!) Who knows, when all this is over, maybe they'll be back in school.  
  
girl4chat86: [holds up 2 fingers in boy scout pledge] I swear to try my hardest to let this end happily. Oh, wait, I wasn't a boy scout at all. Would you take the word of a brownie dropout?  
  
Flyby Stardancer: I was in AP too and the closest thing to Remy I ever saw in ANY English class was this guy in my creative writing course. Sigh. He was totally dreamy. ;-)  
  
Neurotic Temptress: I'm happy that I can still shock and amaze. This chapter is a bit more low key than the last two, but hey, I can't be overexciting these poor kids.  
  
Sujakata: Thanks! I'd say that Remy and Rogue are each pursuing their different paths right now, but rest assured they'll come together sooner or later. Let's say sooner, shall we?  
  
RaVeN*NYC: I also love Ozzy's ramblings. Although I could do with a bit less Kelly if we're being perfectly honest. Sharon's the best--"what if I were Puff Daddy's mother-in-law?" Heh.  
  
Panther Nesmith: Rest assured, I know how the collar got under her skin. You'll just have to wait a bit before I tell all. 


	8. nostalgia

* * *  
  
Kitty an' Ah stood outside the Professor's office for the longest time. Ah guess we were waitin' for me ta get up enough courage ta go inside. Despite the fact that he'd told us he never went into anyone's mind uninvited, a part o' me always wondered. Like, a man so powerful, with a mind like that, how could he help it sometimes? Ah imagined all the minds o' the world, all the thoughts, makin' up a big ocean. An' the Professor was like a fish swimmin' in that ocean. How could he just ignore all that water around him? Ah guessed he could feel us standin' there, me with my damn palms sweatin', tryin' ta think o' the best way ta say that Ah'd messed up bad an' that mebbe Remy was on his way ta mess up even worse.  
  
Ah looked at Kitty. She was twistin' her hands into the material of her shirt. There was a faraway look in her eye. Ah thought 'bout the time Lance had come ta live with us. That had been fun. Sometimes it seemed like the seriousness o' what we were tryin' ta do was buryin' us alive. Like we'd all be dragged down under the Professor's mission. Lance hadn't understood that. But even still, Ah didn't see how it'd all gone sour so quickly.  
  
Ah swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. What was gonna happen ta us? Ah was sixteen years old, a junior, were they even gonna let me go ta college? No one mentioned it for Scott or Jean an' they were even older than Ah was. Would they even let me look? An' what then? Mebbe they'd want me ta come back after, keep fightin' an' find others ta do the same thing Ah'd done. Ah could see the long line o' my future stretchin' out in front o' me. Ah could see how everythin' might be arranged if Ah never spoke up ta say what Ah wanted, if Ah ever figured that out.  
  
Ah reached up an' touched the bump on my neck. Now that Ah was more used ta it, it didn't seem so monstrous. Mebbe if Ah could only leave it in Ah'd never have ta decide about the future. But even as Ah cursed myself for the coward's way out, my other hand was flat against the smooth wood o' the Professor's door.  
  
"Better get this over with," Ah told Kitty.  
  
She took my hand an' squeezed. "Okay." She looked anxious. "I be he, like, already knows we're here anyway."  
  
The office was warm an' dim. The Professor'd partially drawn the shades against the late afternoon light that usually streamed in through all the windows. It took my eyes a moment ta adjust ta the dark.  
  
"Professor?" Ah asked nervously. My hand was slippery against Kitty's. Ah clutched her fingers, but she didn't complain. "You here?"  
  
It occurred ta me that Ah was scared. Not only o' confessin' what'd happened, but of him. Ah'd never really dealt with the Professor one-on- one before. Scott or Jean were always around. Ah suddenly knew what Dorothy musta felt like when she was standin' there in front o' the great an' powerful Oz; like she was small an' dirty an' worthless. Ah kinda wished there was another man behind the curtain runnin' the show just ta take the edge offa my fear. Ah wished the man was as small as me.  
  
"Yes, Rogue, what is it?" He wheeled out into the center o' the room so Ah could see him better. "What's wrong?"  
  
An' so Ah began the whole story again for the second time that day. Ah spoke carefully, not wantin' it ta seem like Ah was lookin' ta excuse what Ah'd done. Made sure ta tell him how Remy wanted ta go for help an' Ah'd begged him ta wait. Tried not ta sound as damned desperate as Ah felt.  
  
When Ah was done, the Professor wheeled back ta his desk. He pressed a button. "Hank, could you please come up here?"  
  
"Sure thing, Charles," Mr. McCoy replied.  
  
"Bring your bag."  
  
"Roger."  
  
"He'll be here in a moment," the Professor said. He steepled his fingers an' looked at us steadily. Beside me, Kitty squirmed. Ah realized Ah was still holdin' her hand an' Ah let go, scrubbin' my sweaty palms on my pants.  
  
"Sorry," Ah whispered.  
  
"'s okay," she whispered back.  
  
"I'm not about to lie to you, Rogue," the Professor said. "This is serious business and I won't insult your intelligence and pretend it isn't."  
  
"Yes, sir," Ah said, my heart sinkin'.  
  
"While you should not have been tampering with things you don't understand, you certainly should have come to me the instant there was a problem."  
  
"Yes, Ah know...but what about Remy?"  
  
The Professor looked half-angry for a second, but then he controlled it. "Mr. LeBeau has a choice about whether he wants to stay or go, but he can't have it both ways as he seems to be doing. As long as he understands that he may stay. I'm not in the habit of turning anyone out."  
  
"Bullshit!" Kitty exclaimed Ah whirled ta look at her, my mouth hangin' open. She looked pretty damn shocked herself. One hand flew ta her mouth.  
  
"Kitty, if you'll please wait outside..."  
  
She had a reckless look in her eye that Ah'd never seen before. "What about Tabby?" she demanded. "What about Lance?"  
  
"Tabitha and Mr. Alvers both decided that they preferred not to stay. Surely you wouldn't have me keep them here against their wills."  
  
"Oh, sure, they wanted to go." Kitty threw up her hands. "Whatever you say. Whatever you, like, need to believe."  
  
Ah realized that Kitty'd never really talked 'bout Lance leavin'. It musta cut her deeper than any o' us imagined.  
  
"You just let them go. You let everyone treat them like crap. Scott and everyone else." She said Scott's name like it was poison in her mouth. "And y'know why?" She took a step forward and then nervously stepped back. "Because they're different." She looked down at her pale pink shirt in disgust. "They never tried to fit in. They weren't safe. And 'cause they wouldn't, like, get with your damn program...pfft. Now you wanna do the same thing to Remy. I'm surprised you still let Rogue hang around!"  
  
Kitty whirled. Ah expected her ta be cryin', but she wasn't. Her face was deadly serious. She hugged me fiercely, whisperin' "I'm sorry" into my ear. Ah wanted ta tell her that it was okay--more than okay--but Ah was still too amazed ta speak. "Don't let 'im do it, okay?"  
  
She phased through th' door, leavin' me alone with the Professor an' neither of us knew what ta say. Lucky thing that Mr. McCoy knocked on the door an' came in or Ah'm sure one o' us woulda eventually said somethin' inappropriate an' awkward.  
  
Mr. McCoy looked back an' forth at our stricken faces. "I'm missing something, right?"  
  
The Professor nodded at me. "Rogue." Ah showed Mr. McCoy my neck. "It's some sort of device that negates her powers," he explained. "It's been absorbed into her skin." He sounded tired an' a little sad.  
  
Mr. McCoy touched my neck. The pads o' his fingers were cool. "Now that is a problem," he said mildly. "How'd a smart girl like you get into a situation like this, huh?"  
  
"Long story," Ah whispered.  
  
"Why don't you come down to the lab with me? You can tell me all about it while I see what I can do, okay?" He put one strong arm around my shoulders an' Ah sagged against him gratefully.  
  
"Okay," Ah agreed, hopin' Ah didn't really have ta go through th' whole thing again. We reached the door an' Ah spun around. "Remy?" Ah asked the Professor. "What about him?"  
  
The Professor rubbed his temples wearily. "I'll send Logan after him. Don't worry." He tried ta smile but gave up in the middle of it.  
  
* * *  
  
"I feel like my te...te...eth are about to fall out!" Kurt managed t' yell over de roar of de engine and de wind in our ears.  
  
"Well, I feel like my fingers are about t' fall off, so dat makes us 'bout even, neh?" Don't know if he heard me. Made no sign, only held on tighter when I opened up de throttle.  
  
We were climbing again. De terrain was getting more mountainous as we moved north. Pulled into de narrow breakdown lane t' squeeze past a truck carrying lumber and a station wagon wit' young kids in de back. Dey stared at us in openmouthed wonder, dere faces pressed against de glass.  
  
Kurt made a high-pitched noise and squeezed my stomach.  
  
"Not so tight!" I yelled back t' him. Den I caught a glimpse o' what de kids were staring at. "Zute (dammit)! Kurt! De inducer!"  
  
"Scheisse (shit)." He switched it on.  
  
"Much better." We kept riding.  
  
Luck was wit' us and we managed t' make de town in time. Was a postage stamp of a place, no more dan a fleck on de map, and de diner was a real greasy spoon, crowded. Settled in happily. I felt at home right away.  
  
Kurt sank down in de booth opposite me, looked like he was trying t' make himself small as possible.  
  
"Sit up. You're calling attention t' yourself."  
  
Kurt sat up. De waitress came by and we both ordered coffee. At de last minute, Kurt asked for a slice of lemon meringue pie. I looked at him.  
  
"Vhat?" he asked defensively. "Vhen I'm upset I eat. Zis place looks like it has good pie."  
  
Hid a smile behind my hand. Our coffee and Kurt's pie came and we ate silently. "Heartbreak Hotel" was playing on de radio. Listened t' de noise of de waitress and de short-order cook shouting 'bout people's orders wit'out bothering t' make de words make sense.  
  
Barely looked up when John slid into de booth alongside me.  
  
"Who's the kid?" he asked.  
  
"Hey!" Kurt protested.  
  
"New squeeze?" John inquired.  
  
I shrugged. "Cold. Man got t' do somet'ing t' keep warm." A beat. "Dis is Kurt. Pushy, but okay."  
  
"As long as I'm the only man you'll ever love."  
  
"You de only man I'll ever love."  
  
Kurt was looking back and forth at both of us like he was trying t' decide just how serious we were being. Saw John swallow a chuckle.  
  
"What about th' girl, mate?"  
  
Dat sobered me a bit. "All a front, mon ami. Smokescreen."  
  
"Guess you want t' see the doc anyway, am I right?" John looked at Kurt whose mouth was hanging open. Den John couldn't keep de joke t' himself anymore. He burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he had t' clutch his sides. Kurt -- still not knowing what was going on, but knowing enough t' realized he was being laughed at -- scowled. "Don't be like that, then." John slapped Kurt lightly on de shoulder. "Remy an' I were just havin' a bit o' fun is all."  
  
"Some fun." Kurt lowered his head and frowned into de remains of his pie. "I thought we vere here for a reason."  
  
John looked at me and I shrugged. "He's testy. But cute," he said. Kurt looked up, alarmed. John laughed. "Get me a coffee, willya?"  
  
"Vhere are you going?"  
  
"Little boys' room. Find some little boys. I'll be back, don't worry." He mussed Kurt's hair on his way t' de back.  
  
When he was out of earshot, Kurt turned t' me. "Is he really..."  
  
"Non." I laughed. "John likes t' stir t'ings up and he found out dat dis is an easy way. Y' should see de look on your face."  
  
"Oh...okay." Kurt chuckled nervously. "And you? You're not..."  
  
"Mais (well), never met de right boy, so I'd say no. And now dere's Rogue. Don't want t' t'ink 'bout anyone else."  
  
Was just about dat time dat John sauntered back from de bathroom. "Coffee?" he asked.  
  
"Waitress didn't come by," I said.  
  
He sighed dramatically. "Life's just full of tragic disappointments, innit? Speaking of which," he scribbled a place and a time on a paper napkin, "Dr. Moreau sure as hell remembers you, although I'm not sure it's fondly. What happened between you two in Genosha?"  
  
"De usual." I waved de question away.  
  
"Usual for you or usual for someone civilized?"  
  
"Dealer's choice," I replied, standing. Kurt stood too. "Thank y' for dis," I told John. "I know y' don't have t' and I hate t' ask."  
  
"Ya'd hate ta ask anyone, Remy. That's just how ya are. So bloody independent all the time."  
  
"Sorry," I said, not meaning it at all.  
  
John grinned. "Sure ya are. Everybody's always sorry, ain't they now?" He looked sad all of a sudden.  
  
"Look, John, like I said before, if y' want I could talk wit' de Professor..."  
  
"Don't think I don't appreciate the offer. After all, you're a damn sight better conversationalist than Piotr. Maybe someday, eh?" He brushed an imaginary fleck of dust from de front of his jacket. "Better get a move on before they realize I'm gone. Catch your act around, mate. Good ta meetcha, Kurt."  
  
"Right. Same," Kurt replied.  
  
John let in a rush of cold air when he left de diner. When de wind hit my face I realized how much I missed him.  
  
"I don't think I understand anything you guys just said," Kurt told me. Couldn't tell if he was complaining or observing.  
  
"Now y' know what I feel like when I'm around de x-men," I said, surprising myself.  
  
* * *  
  
Freeverse: So you see that Mr. McCoy is also involved, but the Professor is the authority figure. He's like the dad and eventually he was going to know anyhow, right? Dr. Moreau is a character from my first story (and also an x-comics character to give credit where it's due). He helped to develop technology on Genosha that turned mutants into slaves for the government.  
  
girl4chat86: Whew! Almost no one takes the word of a brownie dropout these days. ;-) I actually like Kitty and Kurt. Plus, bringing in other people helps keep the angst levels from going off the charts.  
  
ishandahalf: Um...see Kitty's rant in this part about the Institute folks and new people. I have NO idea where that came from. I mean, I guess I do know. It's just that the episode where Lance joins up just strikes me as wrong in so many ways. Like, Scott's such a dick and then in the end it's okay because he finally realizes that Lance is okay? A graceful apology at the last second is really not cool in my books. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like it was all played out so Scott could seem all cool and tolerant and Lance is the stubborn one who won't stay even when asked. Never mind all the stuff that happened before. Yeah. I've got some...anger...about that and I guess I figured that Kitty would too. On a lighter note: I like the new mutants and I wish I could put them into the story more prominently. As of now they'll have to settle for little side scenes. I do like the idea of Amara and Jubilee as friends though.  
  
Flyby Stardancer: Cute guys were SO rare at my high school. I'd always tell people that and no one would believe me because there were 3,000 people at my school and I'd be all: "Dude, look at my yearbook, okay?" I think over time I just learned to rethink my definition of "cute." It makes me, like, absurdly happy that you and Niteflite know each other IRL. Don't ask me why...  
  
Neurotic Temptress: I like John a whole bunch. Sometimes I find him hard to figure out and a lot of what he does and says is surprising to me. That's why he's so darn fun to write. I was pretty proud of Rogue's panicked reaction too. I didn't want it to be over the top or anything, but I was kinda wondering when the poor girl would snap, even just a little.  
  
Sujakata: I always thought that part of the point of Remy was that he IS slightly too good to be true. People like him, but they don't always trust him, because there's something so polished about the way he behaves. That's why I like it when he's a little messed up and off base. I once had a boyfriend who would say stuff like that all the time and it was...tiring. I'm not much of a romantic and he always kind of put me on edge. Eh.  
  
Christy S: Sorry about the schoolwork. It is a sad fact of life. Some of it is more enjoyable than most, but on the whole it has the rare distinction of both sucking and blowing. I don't quite know what to make of the brother/sister thing Kurt and Rogue have. Hmmm...I should probably decide what I think before I write a scene with them together, huh?  
  
Randirogue: Dear lord. I thought you fell off the face of the earth. Psych! Nah, I just figured you got caught up in all those things you do IRL. And lo and behold I was right! I'm impressed you're even still reading the fanfic. But I'm also glad that you're enjoying it.  
  
Bunny Angel: Believe it or not, the last chapter was a good page longer than what I usually write (it's usually about 6 pages, single spaced, times new roman 12 pt., that one was 7). Anyhow, I hope this one doesn't feel short to you too. And I feel certain that Remy is heading for something he's not quite prepared for. Duh duh duuun!  
  
Lace123: Woo. Professor bashing by Kitty?! Apologies to anyone who likes the Professor. Eep. I don't really hate him, I sometimes just question his methods. Kurt's a sweet kid, generally. He's one of those characters that've really grown on me.  
  
Jean1: Ah, more bonding, more musing, more talking. More John! I think you're right about him and Lapin having a lot in common. I wanted to show more of Lapin and Remy's friendship in the last story, but I never quite got the chance. I like the idea of Remy and Rogue having friends though. As independent as they are, everyone needs at least one friend.  
  
evolutionary spider: So many people dancing. It's a new sensation! Like the Macarena...only not at all. As much as I enjoyed the scene in the show where Kitty lost her toothbrush inside Mr. McCoy, the nerdly part of me was all: "Um...shouldn't he be DEAD right now? There's a toothbrush in his trachea." I wouldn't rule out Kitty's assistance with the collar, but there are many important veins and arteries in that particular area and I'm pretty sure Kitty's not taking anatomy. We'll all just have to wait and see what happens!  
  
Lucky439: So lovely to hear from you again, and with such a fantastic compliment! Thanks!  
  
starlightz6: I think Remy just has a hard time breaking with tradition. I mean, when he was growing up, the Guild was all about traditions. You have one way of doing things and it's the RIGHT way because it's what you and your forefathers have always done. And that translates to his actions sometimes, which may come off as stubborn (because it is), but he doesn't intend it viciously. I think (I hope?) Rogue understands that at least a little. 


	9. hatred

* * *  
  
"Rogue, please try to sit still." Mr. McCoy had fastened a cuff around my upper arm ta take my blood pressure. He hadn't warmed the stethoscope first, and Ah'd jumped when the cold metal touched my skin.  
  
"Sorry," Ah apologized automatically.  
  
He sighed. "It's understandable. You've been through a lot in the past few months, haven't you?"  
  
Ah shrugged. "It's definitely been an adjustment."  
  
"Mmm hmm," he answered, checkin' my pulse.  
  
"Sometimes Ah just feel like Ah need a minute, ya know? When everything's calm so Ah could figure stuff out. Ah feel like there's so much stuff Ah could do after that."  
  
"Lie down," Mr. McCoy said. Ah lay down. "We all feel that way sometimes. It's the human condition. 'When sorrows come, they come not in single spies, but in battalions.'" His fingers probed my neck.  
  
"Othello?" Ah asked, tryin' ta keep the panic away.  
  
"Hamlet," he answered. "What are they teaching you in school these days?"  
  
"Not so much as before ya left."  
  
"Ah, well, we shall all muddle through eventually, I suppose." Ah could tell what Ah'd said made him happy.  
  
Ah smiled, but it faded when Mr. McCoy took out a needle an' a bottle full o' somethin'. "What's that?" Ah asked, my throat suddenly dry.  
  
"This is just a local anesthetic to numb the area."  
  
"But Ah thought...Ah mean, aren't ya just gonna put me out all the way?"  
  
Mr. McCoy shook his head. "Can't risk it. I'd need another person here at least, just to make sure you were okay."  
  
"Oh. Well. Can Ah turn my head before..."  
  
"You don't have to look," he said kindly.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Ah felt a prick when th' needle went in, but it didn't take long for the anesthetic ta take effect. When Mr. McCoy set his scalpel on my skin, Ah couldn't feel anythin' more than a dull weight. Then the tuggin' sensation as he slid it across. It was so much like that time in Genosha, with Tam an' Trask standin' over me, cuttin' me. Ah squeezed my eyes shut tighter. There was moisture in my eyelashes an' they clung ta my cheeks. Ah wouldn't cry. Ah wouldn't.  
  
Mr. McCoy made a "hm" noise in the back o' his throat.  
  
"What is it?" Ah gasped.  
  
"Shh," he soothed. "Try not to talk. The metal's one I've never seen before. I'm trying to collect a sample." Ah felt pressure on my neck. Ah heard Mr. McCoy breathin'. "There."  
  
"Cain't ya get it out?" Ah asked, my heart sinkin'.  
  
"It seems to have fused into one solid band. We don't dare risk it. I wonder...you're sure those spikes you told me about weren't there at first?"  
  
"Ah...Ah'm pretty sure."  
  
"Hmm. Let's get you stitched up. I have to give this some thought."  
  
As much as Ah liked an' respected Mr. McCoy, there were times when he'd look at ya as if ya were only some problem ta be solved.  
  
He covered the spot on my neck with a gauze bandage, wrapping it around until Ah felt more like a war victim than a victim o' my own foolishness.  
  
Somewhere above us, Ah could hear an alarm bell ringin'.  
  
"That sounds like our cue," Mr. McCoy said.  
  
The intercom buzzed. "Hank." The Professor.  
  
"Yes, Charles?"  
  
"I think you'd better bring Rogue and come up here as soon as you're finished."  
  
Ah wiped my eyes on my sleeve.  
  
"Sure thing. We're just wrapping up here." Mr. McCoy turned ta me an' smiled. "You heard the man." He gave no sign that he knew Ah was upset, but mebbe he was just bein' kind.  
  
"Yeah," Ah said. "Battalions, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Funny thing about the elevators at the Institute, they weren't like the ones in other places. Each one ya took came out in a different spot--the second floor linen closet, the kitchen, out in the gazebo. There was even one that took ya up into the middle o' a fountain way at the back o' the house, right near the woods, for emergencies only. O' course, first Kurt an' then Bobby had a helluva time comin' up with ways ta trick people into that particular elevator. Mr. McCoy an' Ah took the one that came out in the Professor's office.  
  
Ororo was there too, but neither of 'em bothered with a greetin'.  
  
"Kurt is gone," she said.  
  
"We presume he and Mr. LeBeau are together."  
  
Remy, what on earth are ya doin'? Ah thought. Ah doubted that even Lance on his best day could cause so much trouble.  
  
"What did you discover about the necklace?" the Professor asked.  
  
"I'll have to analyze the metal to be sure of a few things, but the most pressing matter is that I can't safely remove it."  
  
The Professor rubbed his temples. "I see."  
  
It was then that Kitty raced through the door. She skidded ta a stop in front o' us. She was breathin' heavily, hair messy, red face; there were grass stains on th' knees o' her jeans, as if she'd slipped several times an' landed hard.  
  
"I...outside...there was..." She took several gulpin' breaths o' air an' continued. "Magneto's coming this way."  
  
The Professor's eyebrows twitched, but otherwise he showed no sign o' emotion. "Are you sure?"  
  
Kitty's face was pure irritation. "Why would I, like, be making this up?"  
  
The Professor looked at Ororo. "I want you to get all the others into the basement, now. Kitty, I want you to help her."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Help her. Please."  
  
"What about Logan?" Ororo asked.  
  
"By now he is sure to be too far away to do any good."  
  
"Yes, but if Kurt and Remy are together, he could track them using the homing signal from Kurt's communicator."  
  
"You're right, of course, Ororo. I don't know how I could've forgotten." The Professor closed his eyes. Th' air in the room got real heavy, charged, like right before an electrical storm. Ah felt the tiny hairs on the back o' my neck prick up. Th' Professor reopened his eyes.  
  
"Logan knows?" Ororo asked. The Professor only nodded.  
  
Kitty caught my eye an' mouthed, "Spooky."  
  
"Come, Kitty. Quickly." Ororo led her outta the room.  
  
"Hank, I want you to perform the necessary tests on that metal."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I will be fine here. I sense that Magnus only wishes to talk."  
  
Mr. McCoy looked dubious, but reentered the elevator without protestin' again. When Ah started ta follow him, the Professor stopped me. "I'd like you to stay, Rogue."  
  
"What can Ah do? Ah'm in no condition ta go up against Magneto."  
  
"No," the Professor agreed, "but I think you might like to hear what Magnus has to say."  
  
Ah went cold all over. Out in th' hall, Ah heard Kitty urgin' people into th' elevator. "No, Amara, don't push Jamie...Now look what you've done! God. Okay. Jamie, try to, like, pull yourself together or we won't all fit." Ah smiled grimly. There was a knock at the front door--poundin' more like since Magneto never did anythin' by halves. A bang as the doors flew open an' his voice in the house. In my house. Ah curled my hands into fists at my sides.  
  
"Come out, Charles! I have business with you."  
  
"Open the door please, Rogue." An' then we were out in th' hall with him. He was flanked on either side by Piotr an' John. Sabretooth an' Mystique were nowhere ta be seen.  
  
"I thought you might be hiding from me, Charles."  
  
"You know me better than that, though you pretend not to," th' Professor said calmly. "I'm not afraid of you, Magnus."  
  
"More's the pity then."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Two of your students have incited an anti-mutant riot and abducted a scientist in my employ."  
  
"Abducted," Ah whispered, tryin' ta make sense of what Magneto was sayin'.  
  
"I know exactly what kind of 'science' Dr. Moreau practices." The Professor's voice was laced with disgust.  
  
"Nevertheless, given our past...association, I thought to give you fair warning. I'm prepared to use any means necessary to free the good doctor."  
  
"An' what happens if they fight back?" Ah asked.  
  
Magneto didn't answer, he just opened his hand an' closed it quickly. Behind me, the doorknob on th' Professor's office door crumpled like it was made outta paper.  
  
* * *  
  
"Zere must be something about diners," Kurt mused when we walked t'rough de door. He had a point. Dere was little difference but de music. "Back in de USSR" was playing on de jukebox.  
  
"Mebbe dis is your chance t' get a nice piece of banana cream pie?" I suggested.  
  
"Maybe I just vant to sit and wait for ze doctor," he said shortly. Wondered if he was still upset 'bout de joke me and John pulled on him.  
  
We didn't have de time t' argue. "Pick us out somewhere nice t' sit. I'll be back." Headed t' de bathroom. I washed my hands and splashed water on my face. Was just drying off when another man came in.  
  
He was broad and tall, filling de space. He had a military-style haircut and a square jaw dat seemed made t' be set in a permanent scowl. He met my eyes briefly in de mirror, den looked away. Turned around, only t' find my nose practically in his chest. He was wearing a small red, white and blue button wit' de letters "FOH" on it. Briefly wondered what dey stood for before I stepped left and right only t' have him mirror my movements.  
  
Laughed. "Dis my first slow dance in awhile, mon ami."  
  
At first I t'ought he was just ignoring me, but den one of his hands snapped out and caught me around de neck. He lifted me into de air so only de tips of my shoes were brushing against de floor. His eyes were a heavy gray and dey gleamed dully. "Fuck you, you fucking mutant," he said distinctly. Was getting hard t' breathe. My lungs rattled for air and my eyes rolled. His breath was hot on my face. "You'll get exactly what's comin' to ya."  
  
He raised me up farther and for a terrifying moment my feet left de ground completely. Den, as slowly as he'd picked me up, de man set me down. My knees collapsed under me. When I raised my head he was gone.  
  
De doctor had arrived by de time I felt steady enough t' leave de bathroom. I squeezed in beside him.  
  
"Vhat took you so long?"  
  
"Not'ing." Rubbed my neck. "Sorry." I was still shaken. Not dat I was naïve 'bout de state of mutant-human relations, but at least in Nawlins everyone knew t' stay away from Jean-Luc's mutant son. How had de man known 'bout me? I wasn't like Kurt or Scott. I didn't carry my difference on de surface. Realized wit' a start dat Kurt had been saying somet'ing.  
  
"I'm not ze best one to ask about zis. I'm sure Remy wants to add something."  
  
"Non. I t'ink you've got it covered," I said hastily.  
  
De man from de bathroom was at de cash register in de front of de diner. He had on his coat t' leave. Could still feel de ghost of his hand around my throat. He saw me and started heading over t' where we were sitting.  
  
Kurt looked confused. "Remy, vhat...?"  
  
"Now's not de time."  
  
De man came at us quicker dan I would have t'ought possible, given his size. I stood t' face him. He reached into an inner pocket in his coat. "Fucking trash!" he screamed. All de conversations going on around us ground to a stop. Everyone was looking. I knew what would happen next. De gun was smaller and uglier dat I t'ought it would be.  
  
"Get down!" I yelled, pulling Moreau under de table. "Putain (fucking hell)." Kurt nimbly rolled across de floor, de image inducer flickered off and his tail snaked out t' trip de man up. Cursing, de man went down heavy. De gun skittered across de floor and hit de far wall wit' a thud.  
  
"Vhat was zat?" Kurt asked me, wide-eyed.  
  
De man struggled t' his feet. "Goddamn muties!" he roared.  
  
Scrambled out from under de table, yanking Moreau along wit' me. "We get de hell out of here now, dat's sure."  
  
"Right." Kurt put one of his hands on each of us. Dere was a lurching sensation and somet'ing dat smelled like ozone. We were suddenly out in de parking lot, den at de side of de building, den out back.  
  
"Stop," I managed weakly. My stomach was jumping. T'ought dat I'd be sick right den.  
  
"Sorry," Kurt said. "Sightline teleportation sometimes does zat."  
  
"Good t'inking," I said, holding my stomach. Felt like I was flying apart.  
  
"Friend of yours?" Kurt asked Moreau darkly.  
  
De doctor had de good sense t' look horrified. "No! I...I've never seen him before." He ran shaking fingers back t'rough his hair.  
  
"You picked zis place. How do we know you're telling ze truth?"  
  
Moreau's eyes narrowed den. "Look, whether or not you believe me, you wanted my help."  
  
"Dat's right. We do." Led dem further away from de diner, out of sight inside a thin line of trees.  
  
"John didn't say what this was all about," Moreau prompted.  
  
"A necklace."  
  
"Necklace?"  
  
"A friend of mine is in bad trouble. She has a necklace dat I've good reason t' believe came from your lab. It...it's stuck under her skin."  
  
Moreau's eyes widened fractionally. "I take it your friend is a mutant as well?" I nodded. "And you want from me...?"  
  
"A way t' remove it."  
  
"I'm afraid that's impossible."  
  
"What?" My hands were balled so tight dey ached.  
  
"If your friend's necklace is the one I'm thinking of, it's a prototype. One of two. I developed them in Genosha, but never got a chance to test either. They were both stolen." He looked at me sharply.  
  
"Wasn't me, mec (man)."  
  
"I have even less reason to trust you than you have to trust me," Moreau pointed out.  
  
"I can vouch for him," Kurt offered. "And you'll just have to take our words." In de silence after he spoke, we could hear shouting from de direction of de diner. Sounded like de man from inside had found some backup. "Or maybe we should just leave you here with zem."  
  
Moreau looked dubious. "You say the necklace is inside your friend's skin?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Interesting. The latent organic properties in the metal must be more dominant than I realized."  
  
"Organic properties?" Kurt gulped.  
  
"Yes. I was able to extract the metal from rocks I discovered in an expedition on Genosha. It seemed to me to be something completely revolutionary."  
  
Tried t' ignore de fact dat de metal most likely been mined and purified wit' mutant slave labor. "And so you and Magneto decided t' do dis..."  
  
"Magneto provided further funding for my research. After Trask's operation failed..."  
  
"Trask was a butcher!" Kurt shouted angrily.  
  
Moreau's shoulders fell. "I suppose there's no arguing with that. But, Magneto..."  
  
"Magneto's crazy. He'd kill de entire human race if it suited his plans. You should find better friends," I said.  
  
De shouting voices came closer. We withdrew further into de shadows. De cover felt transparent.  
  
"Perhaps you should too," Moreau suggested dryly.  
  
"You're coming wit' us."  
  
"What! Why? That wasn't part of the deal!"  
  
"Y' stay wit' us until y' find a way t' remove dat t'ing from my friend's neck."  
  
"Look," Moreau rubbed de bridge of his nose, "I've told you all I know. Without the necklace, I..."  
  
"Dis necklace?" Pulled it out and dangled it in front of Moreau's eyes. I'd slipped it from Rogue's pocket back at de Institute t'inking dat it might come in handy.  
  
"Okay," Moreau agreed. "But I'm going to need a subject."  
  
"Fine," I said.  
  
"Remy! You can't!" Kurt burst out. "Ze Professor wouldn't..."  
  
"I saw something there! Back in the trees!" a voice called. Dere was a dull pounding of feet coming nearer.  
  
"De Professor isn't here. He doesn't understand de situation." I grabbed Kurt and Moreau and pulled dem close.  
  
"Magneto will come after us, you know. He won't let you do this," Moreau said. He sounded tired.  
  
"Let him come." Looked at Kurt. "Get us out of here." De mob burst into de trees. Caught a sketchy impression of angry faces. Dey bled into one, snarling wit' hate, before fading completely.  
  
* * *  
  
Let me just preface this by saying that I'm glad so many of you liked Kitty's rant. Even though I felt like it was something she SHOULD want to get off her chest, I also realized that it was risky because it had the potential to be pretty OOC. It's hard for me to tell if I'm pulling things off or not and I appreciate everyone's feedback.  
  
ishandahalf: Yeah, the Professor's eyebrows are kinda weird, huh? Between that and the baldness I think I'd have difficulties talking to him too. I think if Kitty and Rogue could look past their surface appearances they'd find that they're startlingly alike. But the superficial details are what make them seem so different. I'm happy to help with the swearing. Every German swear word I ever needed to know I learned from watching "Run Lola Run." Seriously. ;-)  
  
Randi: You're probably right about not needing the tag line at the end of the last part. I flip-flopped back and forth about that. Like, I thought maybe it would seem too callous of Remy to just say it without qualifying it since I wanted to convey that he hadn't really been dwelling on the subject, or contemplating it at all really. It was just one of those things that sometimes pops out. Ah, I probably just need an editor, but then I'd have to delay my satisfaction in having another part written. Eh? Sometimes I wish I were busier, but this story definitely hijacks my brain at times and I can't imagine how I'd get anything done but the writing.  
  
samson: Thanks! It's so energizing to me to write this. I feel like the characters and events are just clicking in all the right ways.  
  
Panther Nesmith: I'm flattered that I'd produce anything quote-worthy. Cool beans. I like writing St. John as a kooky loon, but with a more serious side that he doesn't show often (for all you anime-watchers out there I was thinking Vash from "Trigun" only slightly less kooky). You're right about everyone having a different take on him though. The Professor scenes are where I try to work out my own problems with the character (perfect, holier-than-thou, etc.) and, yeah, although I like Evo Scott more than any other Scott, he's still an ass.  
  
Sujakata: Yeah, the boyfriend rattled the depths of my un-romantic soul. Not that I don't appreciate someone who's considerate, just that EVERYTHING shouldn't have to be about love and fate and blah blah blah. I do appreciate ultra-romance every once in a while, sure (hey, I own a copy of "Heathers," and what's more romantic than being Bonnie to somebody's Clyde, I ask you?) And I need my Romy fix since a) Evo's not even airing on my WB affiliate anymore and b) they've completely dropped off the pages of Xtreme. Blah. As for the anti-Xavier, yeah it is kind of, although if you see it drifting into the realm of the Xavier-is-an-evil-Nazi fic please feel free to give me a big ol' virtual smack upside the head.  
  
starlightz6: I'm glad you found the rant surprising but not uncalled for. That's the goal I was trying to reach. I wouldn't give up on Hank's ingenuity just yet and Dr. Moreau's kind of a dark horse in the running now too.  
  
RogueBHS: Wow. Color me impressed, because the series is...sizable. Maybe when this story de-hijacks my brain I'll have some energy for...y'know, READING again. I think the characterizations thing is just practice and dumb luck. Like I didn't start out this little journey with more than a glancing idea about any of the characters. In fact, if you'll believe it, I never meant for it to go on this long. Not that I regret it, just that, originally, "Une Danse Ronde" ended with the destruction of Magneto's house and uncertainty about Remy's future. All that Genosha stuff? Didn't expect to write it at all. Totally ad libbed.  
  
Lucky439: Well, here it was. I couldn't resist doing something with the Friends of Humanity.  
  
Lace123: Honestly? (being a ginormous Billy Corgan fan, I promptly got the Zwan song of the same name stuck in my head) I didn't know Kitty had it in her until I wrote it. Because of the way she talks and acts and dresses I think it's easy to underestimate Kitty. Comic book Kitty is an interesting character, although I think Claremount (*cough*pasthisprime*cough*) has a tendency to Mary Sue her a bit, but I prefer competence to good-natured compliance any day.  
  
Seven Sunningdale: Look at you, all complimentary and reading everything too! Sniff. You guys are so great! I'd be kind of interested to know what the series looks like to someone as a whole. Since I'm, like, the writer and junk and I'm writing it in pieces it's hard to get the entire picture. But dissertation or no, I'm just glad you're enjoying yourself. :- D  
  
Christy S: Thank god! I was afraid that I was being too mean to the Professor. I want to be fair. While I think the concept of Evo is a great one (catch all the x-men before they develop the uber-angst of their later years? Fantastic!) it's also problematic in that they are very young. Maybe too young. Rogue's questions about college are mine as well. I mean, how do you choose between having a career and being a superhero? That makes the Professor's role a bit difficult. He's like those parents who push their children to become ice skaters or gymnasts or whatever. You always have to wonder if, when they're a little older, the kids would make the same choice freely. I agree with you about Rogue and Kurt having a strong friendship. Finding out that they're (adoptive) brother and sister might strengthen that connection a bit, but I think people's affections for each other are kind of independent of family ties.  
  
vagabond: No problem. It's all just encouragement for me to keep going and to keep the momentum up. I appreciate every little bit. Especially now that I've figured out where I want to end up and (pretty much) how I want to get there. [does happy dance]  
  
Niteflight: Hee. You and Flyby are hi-larious. I think that, of all superpowers, mind reading would be the crappiest to have. We may say we want to know what people REALLY think, but we are, alas, big, fat, dirty, rotten, pants-on-fire liars. Now super speed or flying or a supersonic scream or something... Or maybe I just want to be Leeloo from "The Fifth Element." Possibly would wear more clothes though.  
  
Lady MR: I thought it was about time too. All I had to write was the "bullshit" and the rest just flowed from there. Maybe I was just channeling my inner Kitty. Y'know, that girl we all have inside who dresses in pink and...er...nevermind. And the Remy/John scene? Well, that was just plain fun to write.  
  
Bunny Angel: Whew. I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows guys who do that. I was halfway through writing it and I was all, "wait, what if my friends are just weird?" The best thing about my two guy friend who do this is that one's this short, punk kid and the other is this kind of arty looking kid with meticulously spiked hair (he used to dye it pink). They're like the odd couple and it's funny as hell whenever they pretend like they're in love. ;-)  
  
Neurotic Temptress: I can never tell if I'm actually being humorous or not. It's much easier in person because you can always rescue a lame joke with a facial contortion or a pratfall or something. On paper? Not so much. The one thing I'm having difficulty deciding on for the ending I'm working out in my head is the Fate of Gambit. He's got reasons to stay at the Institute and reasons to go. But if he left, where would he go? I can't see him back in New Orleans. Should he stay or should he go? I suppose it sort of depends on how the others treat him when all this is over. But if you've got any ideas...help me Obi-Wan Kenobi!  
  
Flyby Stardancer: FF.net is puzzling in its ways. Some days things appear immediately and some days not so much. And I've promised to do my best to end this happily (by my standards, naturally, which have a tendency toward the bittersweet). I was quite pleased with the ending to "April Witch," so maybe I'll try for something like that. Of course, all this is somewhat arbitrary. Writing just wouldn't be fun if you didn't feel like you were the driver of an out-of-control stagecoach. Like, I've got the reins, for what good that does. I encourage, but I can't dictate.  
  
Whew! Someday, my responses to feedback will actually be longer than the story. Eek. 


	10. revelation

* * *  
  
My skin was alive with sensations as Ah drifted in that twilight region 'tween sleep an' wake. My mind focused endlessly on happier things, although Ah couldn't tell if it was supposed ta be a comfort or not. Ah saw Irene's face, hoverin' over me just like when Ah was a lil' kid, sick in bed. Kitty's face, blazin' with anger, defendin' Remy an' me. Kurt's gentle concern.  
  
Ah saw Remy.  
  
Most of all Ah saw him. Strange as it was, Ah wished fiercely ta go back ta the beginnin' an' tell him how Ah felt. Th' desire was a lump at the back o' my throat that Ah couldn't swallow past, no matter how much Ah wanted ta do it. It wouldn't have been difficult. Ah coulda done it any time before, Ah realized -- after we first met, when we were on th' road ta find Magneto, in that prison in Genosha, th' whole time we were in New Orleans, or even that Friday -- amazin' an horrible as it'd been -- when his lips moved down my skin an' his tongue found that ticklish spot on th' inside o' my right elbow.  
  
What would we have done then? If Ah had just gasped out how much Ah needed him an' how scary that was, while th' feelin's exploded through my brain like fireworks.  
  
But none o' that'd happened. Ah'd let the words flicker out inside. They blistered on my tongue. Instead o' sayin' anythin', Ah'd flipped him over, squeezin' his bare torso between my knees. Ah'd run my fingernails lightly up his stomach, feelin' the smooth muscles jump. Ah'd kissed him, openmouthed an' hungry. There was sweat on his skin an' the salt burned the corners o' my lips.  
  
My eyes snapped open. There was a pain in my arm. Fuzzy head. Ah remembered. Mr. McCoy had given me somethin', a shot, ta relax me while the others -- Scott an' Ororo an' Kitty an' the Professor -- left ta find Remy. Ah struggled into a sittin' position. Ah was in the medical bay, muffled like a mummy in crisp, white sheets, padded up with pillows. Ah struggled out from under the blankets an' threw one leg over th' side o' the bed. Almost fell ta the ground. Whatever Mr. McCoy'd given me was still in my system. God, how long had Ah been out?"  
  
Th' door slid back an' Jean hurried in. "Rogue, great news! Hank says that he's really close to..." Th' excited expression on her face faded into bothered confusion when she saw me. Ah was a damn sight -- half in bed with my hospital gown ridin' high up one thigh.  
  
"Rogue, you're not supposed to be out of bed." Ah felt myself bein' gently lifted through th' air even though Jean was still lingerin' in the doorway.  
  
"That's the problem with havin' a telepath for a nurse," Ah grumbled. Stubbornly, Ah swung both legs over th' edge.  
  
Jean was at my side immediately. "Your IV is backed up," she said, all business. She straightened out a kink in the line. Th' pain in my arm disappeared.  
  
"Ah haveta get outta here." Jean pressed her fingers into my wrist, calmly takin' my pulse. "Please, Jean?" Ah grabbed her free hand.  
  
"Mr. McCoy said you weren't supposed to move. He's really close to figuring this thing out, Rogue. If you could only wait a little longer. He..."  
  
The look on my face musta been what stopped her cold. "What if ya were me an' it was Scott?" Ah pleaded.  
  
"I...Scott?" She looked gently pained an' Ah could tell Ah'd hit a nerve.  
  
"Yeah. What if it was Scott...before. An' there was a chance that...well, that you wouldn't be able ta tell him all those things that ya did. If there was a chance that he'd gone and done somethin' dangerous an' stupid, just 'cause o' somethin' ya'd done." Ah smiled bitterly. "Dangerous an' stupid" just weren't in Scott's vocabulary, at least not together. Ah realized with a shock that that's what Ah'd liked so much about him for so long -- he would be th' kind o' person ta show ya how ta live your own life. But, he'd never judge. He'd never cruelly remind ya that ya were really livin' the life he'd chosen. It'd be a good life too, even if it wasn't any o' your own doin'. As long as Ah'd been around him, Ah never had ta bother ta figure myself out. But Remy forced ya ta know, or else ya could never take a stand again. Ya'd get sucked into his life an' never get out. It was a hard thing.  
  
Ah missed him an' the ache was like air on an exposed burn. Ah swallowed hard.  
  
"Scott?" Jean repeated faintly. "I...I don't know."  
  
"Ah'm gettin' up from this bed," Ah told her coolly. "An' Ah'm gonna put my clothes on an' go. If ya want, ya can tell Mr. McCoy that Ah was gone before ya got here." Ah plucked out th' IV. Th' tiles were cold under my feet an' there was a definite draft up th' back o' my gown.  
  
Jean shook her head. "It's no good. The cameras. Mr. McCoy'll know."  
  
"Then he'll know." My head felt heavy with th' last wisps o' medicine. My clothes were folded neatly on a chair in the far corner o' the room. Ah walked over slowly an' pulled on my pants, socks an' shoes. No time for modesty, Ah stripped off th' gown quickly. Jean dropped her eyes an' reddened. Ah fastened my bra an' buttoned up my shirt.  
  
"Wait!" Jean said as Ah moved unsteadily toward th' door.  
  
"What is it?" Ah was tired an' heartsick. Ah didn't know how well Ah could fight her off if she tried ta stop me. But dammit if Ah wouldn't try at least.  
  
"You can't go like that."  
  
"Like what?" Ah asked miserably.  
  
"Your tag's out. Here." She was at my back, her cool fingers brushed my neck. Somethin' else happened too -- my head cleared an' suddenly the ground felt a whole lot firmer under me.  
  
"Thanks," Ah said. For Jean, it was a lot ta do. Sad an' frustratin' as it was ta think about, Ah knew she'd never dare ta rebel out loud.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Ah'd be lyin' if Ah said Ah gave the matter any more thought as Ah raced up toward th' Institute garage. They'd taken th' x-jet an' Ah was pretty grateful for that. Ah still needed ta log 80 hours more on the flight simulator before they'd even think o' lettin' me touch the thing, but drivin' the van was no problem, even if Ah did feel just a tiny twinge o' regret that Logan'd taken his motorcycle.  
  
Ah started th' engine an' flicked on the GPS tracker. Three dots -- one larger, th' x-jet, headin' north, an' two smaller. One was Kurt, still for th' moment, an' the other was Logan. Ah wondered what would happen when all th' dots met up. Figured it'd be nothin' good. Ah pushed th' clutch in an' shifted, pressin' harder on the gas than Ah'd planned. The van leapt forward, tires screechin' down the driveway.  
  
* * *  
  
Got as far as a clump of scrub bushes before I threw up. Kurt made a sympathetic noise and patted me on de back.  
  
"You get used to it," he promised.  
  
"Mebbe I don't want t' get used t' it, neh?"  
  
"This way!" Moreau snapped impatiently. He fooled wit' a cluster of rocks and underbrush, exposing a dark hole and stairs leading down into de darkness.  
  
"Zis takes us into ze house?" Kurt asked warily.  
  
"This takes us into the lab," Moreau pointed out. "So you either come now or not at all." He was nervous. Dere were beaded drops of sweat on his upper lip.  
  
Long as I live I'll never forget dat trip. De passageway was natural, but parts had been widened. Dere were no lights installed so I picked out a good sized branch, giving de tips a charge so dey burst into flame. De unsteady light glanced off de rough edges of de rock, making de walls look like dey were moving in and out - breathing. All around our feet, shadows gathered and shook like wet ink.  
  
Concentrated on putting one foot in front of de other. De tunnel seemed t' go on forever.  
  
"I discovered in the course of my work in Genosha that every mutant has dual levels of potential," Moreau said suddenly. "The first is naturally occurring, often appearing with puberty, but the second stage, frequently a higher level manifestation of the mutant's existing powers, must be triggered externally. I think that once I attach the collar and find Mr. LeBeau's trigger, that will prove to be the key to removing it."  
  
Felt a jolt of panic, remembering de exploding safety razor from my youth. What if I hurt someone? Dere was a time when I couldn't even avoid hurting myself wit' de powers.  
  
"I see," Kurt said. "At least I think I do. Because ze metal is organic..."  
  
"Think of it as a kind of parasite, if it helps. A very effective parasite. It derives its own energy from the host without significant weakening beyond the negation of mutant powers. And it protects itself in any way necessary to prevent extraction."  
  
"But if you give it too much energy, zen its hold should loosen."  
  
"Theoretically."  
  
My throat was dry, and dat wasn't just theoretically.  
  
Moreau held de torch out in front of him, revealing a heavy, metal door. Wit' some effort he slid back de deadlock and pushed t'rough.  
  
De brightness was overwhelming. Closed my eyes while orange and magenta ghosts of light danced.  
  
"If you'll have a seat, we can begin," Moreau told me. Gingerly, I sat in de examination chair. It looked like somet'ing from de dentist's office. "This shouldn't hurt," he said. My ears, practiced in finding lies, heard de uncertainty in his voice. Closed my eyes and de next t'ing I felt was a weight settle across my neck. "Kurt, could you bring me those clamps, please?"  
  
"Zis?"  
  
"Yes. Hurry now. This is only a mild current to stimulate the metal's activity level."  
  
De band on my neck shifted and I felt a tingle like static. It moved again against my skin. Centipede legs crawling over my neck. Felt a shriek rising into my mouth, but I swallowed it at de last second. Den tearing and a sharp pain. I guessed de spikes were in my skin. My back arched under me. "Doctor..." Kurt warned.  
  
"I know. He's moving too much. I'll have to sedate him. Get me my bag. It's on the counter there."  
  
Rustling and clinking. My face was sweating and den I felt Kurt's hand across my forehead. Never really felt his fur before. It was soft like velvet. De pain flooded from my neck all t'rough my body. Gritted my teeth. Felt like I was coming apart. Hardly even felt de prick as de needle went in, but suddenly de pain was gone and I seemed t' be drifting away from my body. My eyes were still shut tight, but I could hear everyt'ing. Echoes down a well.  
  
"Dr. Moreau. Sabretooth and I were wondering when you would come back." A woman's voice.  
  
"Mystique! I...how did you get down here?"  
  
"That's not the important question, Moreau."  
  
"Mother!" Kurt exclaimed.  
  
"K...Kurt?" He must have been out of sight, but Mystique recovered from her surprise well. "Lord Magneto is quite concerned about your welfare," she continued smoothly. "I think it's best if you come with me now."  
  
"No!" Kurt exploded. "You have to let him finish zis!"  
  
"I don't have to let him do anything."  
  
"I only need to set this up, here," Moreau said calmly.  
  
"You're coming with me!" Mystique insisted. Heard a hum of machinery warming. Was glad dat my eyes weren't open den. De lids were so heavy I don't t'ink I could have opened dem if I tried.  
  
"No, mother! Don't!" Kurt's voice was strained wit' some effort. Smelled de familiar sulfur of his teleportation.  
  
Only sightline in a room dat wasn't so big. Mystique's voice rose in a furious shriek, farther away dan it'd been a moment before. "Get off me!"  
  
"Nein. Mother, he needs to save Rogue."  
  
"Rogue?"  
  
"My sister."  
  
"How do you know?" Softer. "You were never supposed to know."  
  
Den de hiss of a door opening, a roar and a scream. I guessed Sabretooth had gotten tired of waiting for Mystique's return.  
  
"I thought I smelled somethin' funny," he spat.  
  
"Mystique!" Kurt's voice was anguished.  
  
"Back off, kid or your mom's toast."  
  
Heard scrambling and a crunch that sounded horribly final. A low moan. Dr. Moreau's humming machine started in earnest.  
  
At first, I t'ought dat not'ing was happening. A clicking dat I identified as keystrokes. My skin felt warm and den everyt'ing came in a rush - I seemed t' grow larger until a hole burst into my chest. Could feel de rush of atoms in a way dat I usually didn't. Each one individually on my face like bubbles. De sound dey made was strange music - a murmuring chorus, crickets or frogs mebbe. Opened my eyes and I could see molecules strung t'gether like bits of cobweb. Dere was somet'ing in de room glowing wit' a beautiful, gold light. De color reached into all de corners.  
  
Kurt and Mystique were on de other side of de room. Sabretooth, unconscious, lay on de ground in front of dem, a trickle of blood at one corner of his mouth. Kurt and Mystique were clinging t'gether, but hadn't realized dat yet. Mystique's right hand was frozen in de act of stroking Kurt's hair. Dey were staring. At me. Dat's when I looked down t' realize dat de light was coming from me, pouring from my solar plexus. It grew brighter and brighter until it seemed dat a new sun was being born. Closed my eyes again and I felt myself dissolve. My power had always been de exchange of energy - one kind for another - and now I was a part of dat energy across de whole world.  
  
In Nawlins, Emil was playing pool. I was dere where de cue hit de ball. Reached out an' took de energy away, stopping de ball as it spun neatly toward de corner pocket. I was in de energy of motion behind Emil's outraged shout.  
  
At de same time, I was wit' Tante Mattie in her kitchen, where she an' Jean- Luc debated strategy wit' arms waving.  
  
Stretching myself, I came t' a new place, a bedroom far away in darkness where a sleeper roused enough t' murmur, "Llandra?" before falling into sleep again.  
  
I looked for Rogue and didn't find her difficult t' locate. Tumbled in de motion of her van's engine for a bit, enjoying de whirling ride. De t'ing in her neck glowed bright wit' hoarded energy. Passed into her, loving de complicated play of blood and muscle and bone dat lay just beneath de surface.  
  
"Remy?" I heard her voice, distorted wit' distance. Strange and hollow.  
  
"Everyt'ing'll be all right, mon coeur." Touched de necklace, inside, and its energy slipped into me. More and more. Pouring. Was drowning under it. Rogue's stolen power was crashing t'rough me. Dieu. Never realized dat dere could be so much.  
  
My vision went white. I was blind. Heard Emil, Tante Mattie, Jean-Luc, de unknown man across de galaxy, Rogue calling my name.  
  
* * *  
  
Yes, I know I'm once again playing fast and loose with cannon events. I'm not terribly familiar with the ishes where Remy's powers were increased (even though I should be since he and Rogue suck face) and so this is my own little spin on them, with a grateful nod to my favoritiest Ray Bradbury story, "April Witch" where I got the inspiration for Remy's little trip around town. Because, apparently, I'm just stealin' from everyone today.  
  
Shameless, shameless (and I do mean shameless) plug alert: On an unrelated, but still pertinent note, Randi has been kind enough (or foolish enough?) to nominate this whole, darn series for a CBFFA Award. Um. Wow. The site is here: http://www.fanficnetwork.com/CBFFA+2003/default.htm and, given time, I may pop over to the plug board to do a little MORE shameless self- promotion. In honor of the contest, and because she asked so nicely, I've titled the series - "The Cannibal King and the Dusty Maid" because I like the idea of Remy as the cannibal king and Rogue as the dusty maid.  
  
bunny angel: he dyed it pink for a drag ball. I believe it was blue or something before that. Because pink? = ew. Remy is experiencing flights of magical-realistic fancy for his love as well (apparently).  
  
Panther Nesmeth: Greetings to a fellow feminist. Y'know, if you're really into the whole feminist shtick, you should check out "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf. I'm reading it right now and it's really fascinating. Something about neck violence always creeps me out. Also eye violence. Yuck. On the other hand, I have much less of a problem WRITING about it so what does that say about me? Eh.  
  
Lace123: As I stole the review-reply thing from someone else (probably?) you should feel free to go right ahead. The FOH have the potential to be interesting as a group and I've got, like, a whole backstory on the guy in the diner that'll never be written. I've got backstories on a lot of people that'll never be written. (giant sigh)  
  
ishandahalf: I thought it'd be cool if it was a parasitic kind of metal (because THAT way I could bring, like, the Shi'ar and stuff - MORE things from x-men cannon, because, y'know, it's fun and junk) and so viola! Remy is, indeed, a sweet and charming person, but alas (like many sweet and charming people) he only exists in the fourth estate. So many fake boyfriends, so little time.  
  
Sujakata: I KNOW! And I guess they're planning on bringing it back in May for the release of X2. But I ask you, what is X2 with no Remy? Or so little Remy that my heart barely flutters. I was squeeing like a little girl all through "Stuff of Villains." It was really embarrassing.  
  
starlightz6: I'm pretty sure Magneto will be (fairly) reasonable about the whole thing. And I'm still puzzling over the ending which (both sadly because I enjoy writing this and not-so-sadly because I'd like my brain back to do OTHER things) isn't all that far away.  
  
Christy S: Ah, there lies the rub of the first person narrative. I was thinking of this really exciting scene where Kurt takes down Sabretooth to save his mom, but then I was all "wait, if Remy's kind of unconscious, how does THAT work?" Gah. So here you have Kurt in action, the radio show. [sheepish grin]  
  
J. Dax: So sweet of you to say! After writing a story (and editing a story!) for months on end I find it difficult to tell...um...anything, I guess. Right from left? Up from down? What the heck was my name again?!  
  
Neurotic Temptress: Thanks so much for the advice. I think I've ALMOST got that particular wrinkle ironed out. And I'm glad you agree about Claremont because I know I'm right. ;-) Like this is the man who wrote the Phoenix Saga? And now he's all turned into the exposition fairy over in Xtreme? I'm sorry, but the constant recapping of past events and WHO the team members are? No wonder it took like 8 bazillion issues to resolve the whole interdimensional invasion story arc. Hey, it happens to the best of everyone, I suppose. Once upon a time I loved Frank Miller and DK2 killed my love deader than a doornail.  
  
Lady MR: Just for you! And my damn sanity! Another part ahead of schedule!  
  
Flyby Stardancer: FF.net has been acting up (again) I think. I have some ideas re: Remy's eyes and I know exactly what was up with the FOH guy, but as I said before, that's a story that'll have to sit in my brain forever. Or perhaps it's a story for another day? Ah, decisions. 


	11. punishment

ginormous snowstorm in d.c. + apartment sitting + snowed in for 3 days = new chapter! yay!  
  
the end is in sight, my friends.  
  
* * *  
  
It was stupid. Completely insane. But Ah coulda sworn...just for a moment.... My vision went all blurry an' Ah reached up an roughly wiped th' moisture from my eyes, blinkin' fiercely ta clear 'em. Ah was tired an' stressed. But still, Ah'd felt somethin' there. For an instant Ah thought Ah'd smelled th' cologne he usually wore -- dark an' spicy with clove, nutmeg, orange, an' cinnamon like th' scent from some exotic bazaar. An' th' delicate brush against my skin had been unmistakable.  
  
"Remy?" Ah'd called out, feelin' foolish even as th' word passed my lips. No one was there. No one could be there. But th' feelin' was hard ta shake.  
  
Ah'd strained my ears, not knowin' whether Ah wanted a reply or not. My eyes flicked down ta the specks on the GPS screen. They were all meetin' up, but Kurt an' the others were at least 5 miles from where Ah was by my quick calculations. An' Remy was with them, safe. He had ta be. But then what had it been? My memories playin' tricks. Ah sternly refused ta believe it coulda been any part o' Remy there with me.  
  
Any part like his ghost. An' that would mean...  
  
It couldn't be that. Oh god. Please let it not be that.  
  
Ah pressed down harder on th' gas. It wasn't much farther now. Th' scenery whipped by. On another day, Ah woulda slowed ta take it all in: neat rows o' pines featherin' ta the sky, the way they stretched out over the hilly distance, deepenin' into a green that was almost black.  
  
Suddenly, there was a pain in my neck so sharp an' terrible Ah lost control o' the car. "Remy!" Ah gasped, not knowin' why Ah did it. My hands left th' steerin' wheel an' covered th' lump where the necklace was. My fingers scratched frantically against my skin, as if they could tear th' thing outta me. Ah squeezed my eyes shut, then remembered where Ah was an' snapped 'em open again.  
  
Th' highway'd curved but the van hadn't curved with it an' Ah was headin' straight for the soft shoulder. Ah forced my hands back onto th' wheel an', usin' all my strength, Ah turned it ta the left. My feet pushed in the brake an' clutch. Ah shifted into first gear, hopin' th' engine could help ta slow me down. It roared an' complained but the van did start ta stop. Ah hit the shoulder at a strange, sideways angle, tires skiddin'. Gravel pinged against the underside o' the van an' Ah heard a definite crunch right before Ah stopped movin' completely.  
  
Ah opened the driver's side door an' hopped down. My legs were wobbly so Ah had ta lean into the side o' the van for a minute before roundin' the other side ta inspect th' damage. The van was snuggled up tight against the guardrail an' there were a few nasty scrapes. One o' the taillights in back was broken.  
  
Touched my neck an' let out a shaky breath. Now that the worst o' th' shakes had passed outta my system Ah could tell that somethin' was different. Ah felt lighter somehow, like somethin' inside had loosened. Shruggin' it off as the last traces o' adrenaline in my blood, Ah made my way back ta the driver's side door. This time, when Ah flung it open, th' hinges squealed loudly as th' door bent back almost ta the body o' the van.  
  
My breath caught in my throat. What if....  
  
Experimentally, Ah lifted my arms and was rewarded when Ah rose a few inches into th' air. Covered my mouth with my fingertips. "My god," Ah whispered.  
  
What the hell just happened here?  
  
In th' world o' morals, in th' land o' right an' wrong, people were always punished appropriately for their mistakes. Ah'd fucked up. Big time. Ah'd taken somethin' that hadn't belonged ta me, somethin' Ah didn't know anythin' about, an' Ah'd used it for my own reasons. No matter how good those reasons seemed at th' time, it was Wrong with a capital "W."  
  
Ah regretted a lot o' what'd happened. Ah regretted Magneto an' th' fact that Remy felt like he had ta go an' try ta fix my mistake. But, in some infinitely tiny way, Ah knew Ah didn't exactly regret th' time Ah'd spent as a normal teenager. It stung ta admit that ta myself, doubly so 'cause Ah knew that one day Ah'd have ta admit it ta someone else: th' Professor, Kitty or Remy most of all. An' then everyone'd know how awful an' selfish Ah was inside. But even th' fear o' their disgust an' disapproval wasn't enough ta make me give up th' small kernel of pride that, for once, Ah'd been able ta be like anyone else.  
  
An' it seemed that Ah wasn't punished. Not like Ah'd expected. Ah rummaged in the back o' the van until Ah came up with a handheld GPS locator.  
  
There were more ways for a person ta be hurt though. A cold feelin' settled in the pit o' my stomach. Remy had been there, with me. Somehow. An' somehow Ah figured he'd had somethin' ta do with my powers comin' back.  
  
Th' rush o' emotion that sent me into th' air was a combination of a lot o' things. Shame an' amazement were two big parts. So was love, though Ah'm not sure if Ah was quite ready ta say it out loud. Regardless, it was there. Th' air was cold, but my face burned with it.  
  
* * *  
  
Amazing what y' can hear when people don't t'ink y' can listen. Seemed t' come back into myself right when de x-men arrived in a burst of noisy activity.  
  
"Where's Mystique?" Logan demanded. "I smelled her when we came in."  
  
"Gone," Kurt said sadly. "Out ze way she came, I guess. I didn't see."  
  
"Well, we still got one," Logan grunted reluctantly. "Nice shiner on 'im too. You do that, kid?"  
  
"He vas going to hurt my mother," Kurt replied testily. Dere was an uncomfortable silence before Kurt spoke again. "Remy...came back."  
  
"It's best if we don't disturb him now," I heard Dr. Moreau say.  
  
"Vhat...vhat happened to him? Vhere did he go."  
  
One day I'll tell y', Kurt and y' won't believe me at all.  
  
"I don't know." De doctor sounded confused. Felt his hand on my face. "He's a little warm."  
  
"Would someone care to tell me exactly what went on here?" Hadn't heard de Professor speak too much, but de take-charge tone was a dead giveaway.  
  
"Ze doctor had an idea for removing ze collar from Rogue, but he vanted to test it," Kurt explained. "Remy volunteered. Ze doctor vas going to increase his powers to short out ze metal. It was bright. Zen Remy seemed to fall apart and disappear. Only now he's back."  
  
"And you just let him volunteer for this?" Scott broke in. Somet'ing 'bout de boy rubbed me de wrong way. He was bossy and I could see in dat mebbe he wanted more control dan he was ready for. "How could you be so irresponsible?"  
  
"Scott." Dere was a quiet note of warning in Ororo's voice, but I wondered if he could even hear dat.  
  
"'Ro's right. We need ta keep calm here, not go flyin' off in all directions," Logan added, for emphasis I guessed.  
  
"I didn't let him do anything!" Kurt protested. Could practically hear his scowl. "Remy always does whatever ze hell he wants. I vas just trying to make sure he didn't get hurt. Maybe you'd rather I just let him get killed?" De second part was quieter.  
  
"Kurt! There is no need for such language!" Ororo protested.  
  
"Sorry," he said sullenly.  
  
"No one is questioning your motives, Kurt. Your concern for your teammate is admirable," de Professor said. "However, next time, I wish you would come to us. Let us handle it."  
  
"There isn't going to be a next time," Scott snapped. "He's worse than Lance, Professor!"  
  
"You complete jerk!" I was surprised dat Kitty was dere. Somet'ing must be wrong wit' her, I figured. Wasn't like Kitty t' be dat quiet.  
  
"Kitty, Scott..." Xavier sounded tired.  
  
"But, Professor..." she protested.  
  
"Look, Kitty, Shades, why don't ya make yourselves useful an' help me tote Mr. Sweetness-and-Light here out to the x-jet. You too, elf."  
  
"What are we doing with Sabretooth?" Scott seemed genuinely curious. Anyt'ing t' keep him from badmouthing me. Eavesdropping or no, de boy was seconds away from a good punch t' de jaw.  
  
"Dunno," Logan replied, "but he can't stay here." Heard scuffling as dey hoisted Sabretooth's body between dem and den Logan's breathless grumble. "Sonofabitch's heavier than I remember. Maybe he better lay off the sweet potato pie." Remembering Kurt and his pie, wondered if he was blushing right den.  
  
"You are, like, such an utter asshole, Scott," I heard Kitty hiss at him.  
  
Dere footsteps had receded far down de tunnel before de Professor spoke again. "Magneto will come for you soon, Doctor."  
  
"I know." Moreau's voice was tight.  
  
"This equipment is unlike any I've ever seen before," Ororo mused.  
  
"I...salvaged it from the same site where I found the metal."  
  
"Salvaged?"  
  
"Yes. It looked as if some sort of space ship had crashed there."  
  
"A UFO?" Ororo sounded unconvinced.  
  
Moreau ignored de skepticism. "It took me years to restore it to working order, even longer to figure out how to operate it, to tune it to the frequency of the mutant brain."  
  
"And you say this machine increases a mutant's naturally-occurring powers?" Xavier was as close t' frightened as I'd ever heard him. "Have you told Magneto about this?"  
  
"No. He only knows about the collars. Although neither of us suspected that they'd work in quite such a...dramatic fashion."  
  
"But why would Magneto, of all people, want to strip mutants of their powers?" Ororo asked.  
  
"The collars are for prisoners," Moreau said darkly. "He's preparing for war. And if I were you, I would too."  
  
* * *  
  
Panther Nesmith: I'm glad you liked Rogue's scene with Jean. I try not to hate her TOO much. Scott on the other hand...eh. I guess I can see where a lot of characters are coming from, but there are just some motivations I sympathize with more than others. Scott's like my little whipping boy of the day. Woo. I was thinking that "Comic Book Villains" sounded kind of interesting as I do love my comic book store. Even if I'm not in there a whole heckuva lot, but when I do go it's funny because a) there are never any other girls there and b) the guys there will either look at me like it's the most amazing they've ever seen or scowl like I've invaded their fanboy turf. Hee.  
  
Sujakata: I've yet to see a really strong candidate put forth for LiveAction!Remy. A lot of people seem to be little concerned for said candidate's actual ACTING ability as opposed to his fighting skills, level of buffness, Cajun-ness etc. Um, pro wrestler = Remy? Eugh. Just being Cajun does NOT mean a darn thing. Um...no R&R action in this chapter, but I totally, totally promise that next chapter there will be some. I wanted to stick it in here, but it didn't quite work out.  
  
Amazonestar: Yeah, if I hadn't written it in first person it probably wouldn't have gone on this long either. I LIKE first person, even if it does make explaining certain things more difficult.  
  
Christy S: And the radio show continues! But eavesdropping is totally fun, just as long as you don't get all busted and whatnot. I don't begrudge Remy his fun. He's had a hard day.  
  
Niteflite: Okay, so this is kind of what I'm talking about with the whole problematic first person thing. I, as the humble author, do actually know all of what's going on, but I can't reveal more than what Remy/Rogue/any given character would know. Unfortunately for me, Dr. Moreau isn't too ethical/into the scientific method and doesn't truly understand the workings behind these things he's created. So what I'm going to do, just for you and anyone who's wondering is give away  
  
WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT EVERYTHING (ahem):  
  
I'm reading a book now called "Driving Mr. Albert: A Trip Across America with Einstein's Brain." (don't ask me if it's good because I've only read about 25 pages, but with a title like that how could it be BAD?) Anyhow, in this book, the author says the following about Einstein's famous theory: "...in Bern, Switzerland, he conceived the special theory of relativity and the equation E=mc2, a supposition that ALL MATTER, FROM A FEATHER TO A ROCK, CONTAINS ENERGY." (the emphasis is mine) This sounds good and cool to me (remembering that I am not a physicist) and it got me thinking about how, if Remy's powers were increased to the point where he became pure energy he would, essentially, be able to be anywhere since all things contain energy. It's all very godlike and exciting, no? This is how Remy was able to do all those nifty things he did. As for Rogue's part, I tried to explain that a bit in this part. I think she kind of sensed him, but couldn't be sure. Oooh...ghostly. And angsty!  
  
Lady MR: See above for long-winded explanation. Gah. I think cannon Remy is v. underdeveloped. pouts ;-D Everything I needed to know about the pervasiveness of stolen, extraterrestrial technology and how it is at the bottom of EVERYTHING I learned from watching "The X-Files."  
  
ishandahalf: There are not as many pretty, pretty boys in the real world, that's for sure. But hey, who wants pretty when you can have insecure poseurs, their black-framed glasses slightly askew beneath their over- gelled hair...um, sorry. makes quick note to self to stop hanging out in coffee shops and indie music stores Moving on quickly from my personal gripes. And, hey, I was always taught to end the chapter with a cliffhanger, since, if you end the chapter with, say, a tea party, no one will want to read anything after that...  
  
bunny angel: It did kinda hurt Rogue when the necklace was digging into her skin, only it happened much more slowly. With Remy it was all at once. Kind of like that thing with...um...fish? crabs? lobsters? If you stick 'em in a pot of boiling water they'll try to get out, but if you put them in normal water and heat it they'll get used to it gradually and never try to escape. Okay. Eew. Reason #14 why I'm a vegetarian.  
  
Flyby Stardancer: It makes me sad to think that, eventually, there'll be no more updates to look for sobs. And no more wacky hijinks to report on. About that angst...I swear to holy god that I am not such a damn downer IRL.  
  
Neurotic Temptress: I try for the Rogue/Remy time, I really do. Because I'm not so fond of how they always seem to be going off, doing their own things. Not that people should be together all the time, just that they're pretty interesting when they ARE together. Aw...hell...I don't really know what I'm saying.  
  
The highlight of that Kahn storyline was...um...the Lone Gunmen cameo? How sad is that? Like, separately, there were some pretty cool bits (Sage being badass springs to mind), but on the whole? Eeeh. I did kind of like that filler ish afterwards though, with them all at Rogue's house? Just the part when they were teasing Storm about how many people have wanted her for their queen over the years. Heh. I feel like maybe the problem with Claremont is that he's SUCH a big name now that no one can really come to him and say, "Wait a sec, this could be MUCH tighter." I think his writing's not necessarily BAD, but he could use an editor. A GOOD editor.  
  
AJ: Thank you so much. I'm always especially glad to hear when people think I'm getting the characterizations right because I think that's trickiest to do -- with good characterization, I feel like everything else falls into place because you can take things in new directions plotwise that are natural and logical. 


	12. coda

* * *  
  
Couldn't say when de act of sleeping turned t' actual sleeping because de two blended into one another seamlessly. When I woke, I woke slowly, not sure at first what roused me.  
  
Heard someone speaking. Rogue.  
  
"It's a long story an' Ah don't remember what comes before, but Ah always liked th' part where Set tears Osiris into little pieces an' Isis has ta travel all over so she can find 'em and magically put him back together, just 'cause she loves him so much."  
  
Didn't t'ink it was possible t' choke on not'ing more dan a mouthful of air, but I managed.  
  
"Remy, Ah know you're awake," she said sternly. "An' it's pointless ta pretend ya aren't."  
  
"What gave me away?" I managed past dry lips. "Ugh. Feel like hell."  
  
"That's no surprise, considerin'." She ran a finger lightly across my throat and I felt de uneven texture of material. "Ah guess it's 'cause ya've been torn apart an' stitched back together."  
  
"Y' don't know de half of it, beb," I told her, t'inking 'bout what'd happened t' me. Was strange t' be back in a body again. Heavy.  
  
"Ah think Ah might have some idea," she ventured cautiously.  
  
"Dr. Moreau...did he...?"  
  
"Th' collar's out. Mine too. Ah saw 'em myself. Looked like damn charcoal briquettes. Ah guess we just cain't have nice things." She laughed a little.  
  
"And you're wearing de gloves again. Dat mean dat..."  
  
"They're back. My powers Ah mean, not just the gloves." She sighed. "For better or worse Ah guess, but th' doctor didn't have much ta do with that. Ah'm guessin' that was more your handiwork." Opened my mouth t' answer, but she stopped me by putting her hand over my lips. "Just open your eyes first, okay? Ah'm sick o' talkin' like this."  
  
Was a simple request and I wanted t' see her in any case. At least de room was dim so dat when I opened my eyes it wasn't a shock. Rogue was very close, peering into my face as if she might see her future dere. "Your breath smells like coffee, chére," I teased. She started back. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Your eyes. What happened to 'em?"  
  
"What do dey look like?" I asked fearfully.  
  
"Black. They're black an' the parts that used ta be brown are red. It's...different." She smiled dangerously. "Ah like it."  
  
Felt panic stirring in de pit of my stomach. Wit' eyes like dat dere was no way t' hide my mutation. Mebbe den de t'ing dat had happened in de diner would happen again. Passed my hand shakily over my face. "Must be a little parting gift," I muttered.  
  
"Ya think this is a side-effect o' what Dr. Moreau did?"  
  
"Your guess as good as mine, beb. Hell, your guess as good as Dr. Moreau's for dat matter."  
  
"Ororo told me about his machine."  
  
Shaded my eyes wit' my hand. "Where is it now?"  
  
"Th' others are loadin' it onto the x-jet. Th' Professor thinks it's safer if we keep it for awhile so Magneto cain't..." She took my hand in both of hers and gently lowered it from my face. "Please don't keep doin' that," she pleaded softly. "It scares me when ya do that."  
  
"Scares you?"  
  
She looked thoughtful standing dere next t' me wit' her hair hanging down partway across her face. Brushed it back delicately wit' de back of my other hand. Though I barely touched her, I could feel de powers hovering between us again like static. "Ya ever have a scar?" she asked suddenly.  
  
"T'ink y' know de answer t' dat question," I reproached her lightly.  
  
When she shook her head, de soft strands of her hair brushed against my knuckles. "Not like that. A scar on your face?"  
  
Shrugged. "Not yet. Y' offering t' give me one?"  
  
She leaned closer and I saw her roll her eyes. "Look here," she said, pointing t' a thin, white mark just underneath her right eyebrow. "Ah got this scar two years ago when Ah was back in Caldecott. Me an' some friends were playin' baseball an' Ah was runnin' home. My friend, Cody was standin' there. Ah'm not real sure why he had the bat in his hand, but Ah couldn't stop an' someone pushed him forward an' crack!" I winced. "There was blood runnin' down my face into my eyes. Ah remember how it looked when it fell on the grass. Had ta wear a big bandage for about a week. Ah had a black eye too an' had ta keep explainin' ta everyone how it'd all happened. Ah hated it."  
  
"I bet," I murmured, picturing Rogue's annoyed face and smiling.  
  
"But now Ah cain't imagine my face without it. It lets me know myself from other people." She was still holding onto me wit' one hand, but she pushed her sleeve back wit' de other, exposing de numbered tattoo she'd gotten in de prison in Genosha. "It's like this too. We have ta remember the things we've come through so we can look back on 'em an' be amazed at how brave we were."  
  
"But..."  
  
"That's why it scares me, because ya seem ashamed when ya don't have a reason ta be ashamed o' yourself." She squeezed my hand. We were quiet for a moment. I traced her knuckles wit' my thumb. "What did ya do?" she asked finally. "When Ah was in th' van? Ah could tell it was you."  
  
"Dr. Moreau's machine let me become...more dan I was before, more powerful. I was part of de energy inside you." She pinkened a little at dat and I grinned. "Hard t' explain. It was like tearing a hole in de collar and letting all de energy out."  
  
"But...is it gone now? Ah mean, could ya do it again?"  
  
T'ought 'bout dat for a while. "Non. Don't feel de same way. T'ink dat whatever it was burned too hot and now it's gone." Swallowed a small disappointment at dat. "Don't care. Was never meant t' live by de powers alone."  
  
"Remy, there's somethin' Ah...needed ta say."  
  
"Yes?" Dis time de dryness in my mouth had not'ing t' do wit' exertion. But, of course, dat's when Kurt and Kitty burst into de room.  
  
"Rogue!" Kitty yelled. "Professor X says we totally need to...woah. Hey, he's up!" She grinned broadly at me.  
  
"Dis is certainly a change," I said t' no one in particular.  
  
"Just don't mention Scott and she's fine," Kurt advised, earning a punch in de shoulder. "Ow! Zat wasn't soft, Kitty!"  
  
She smiled at him, baring her teeth in a way dat wasn't strictly friendly. "I know."  
  
"Dat girl eat nails for breakfast?" I asked Rogue softly.  
  
"We should all be so lucky," Rogue whispered back.  
  
"At least we don't have to carry him," Kurt offered.  
  
"What's all this 'we' business?" Kitty teased. She turned her attentions back t' us. "Anyway, like I said, the Professor's all anxious to get back to the Institute and Logan says to get your ass in gear because Sabretooth'll wake up soon and, big surprise, I guess he's not the world's greatest traveling companion."  
  
"I'm not going," I said, de words coming out wit' more uncertainty dan I'd intended. Knew dat de break needed t' be cleaner dan I was making it.  
  
Rogue snapped her head down t' look at me. "What?"  
  
"I can't. It's not de right place."  
  
"Well then what is th' right place? Ah'm not sure it even exists!"  
  
"Stay just a little longer, Remy," Kurt said. "Please?"  
  
"I want t' find dat man who attacked us. De one from de diner. I want t' find out what de pin on his collar was for. Don't know why, but I t'ink it's important." Looked up into Rogue's face, but it was shut tight against me and I couldn't begin t' guess what she was t'inking. I stood and moved toward Kitty and Kurt, hugging each in turn, before turning back t' Rogue. "Dere was somet'ing y' wanted t' say before?"  
  
"It's not important now. It doesn't matter," she said stonily.  
  
"Please, Rogue."  
  
"Just go, okay? Obviously, there's nothin' keepin' ya here."  
  
"Rogue," my voice was weak and pained. Wanted not'ing more dan t' forget and go back wit' her. We'd go t' school de next day and de day after dat, train in de Danger Room, dates on Fridays. But I couldn't forget dat man and de horrible way he'd looked at me and Kurt like he wanted not'ing other dan t' make us scream and cry before he killed us. Please, say somet'ing, I willed. She remained silent. "How far are we from de diner?" I asked Kurt.  
  
"Three or four miles, maybe. Ve could at least give you a lift."  
  
"It's better if you don't. I...I'm sorry dat it couldn't work out."  
  
Surprisingly, Kitty flung her arms around my waist. She was crying, hard and silent, like her heart was breaking. When she pulled away she left a damp spot on my shirt. "Sorry," she sniffed.  
  
I couldn't take anymore of dat. Spun on my heel and ran.  
  
Took less time t' reach de end of de tunnel dan it had going de other way. Made my way carefully around de x-jet, keeping enough distance so dat I'd be sure none of dem saw me. My nerves were already ragged from de other goodbyes. Heard de roar of engines and felt de heat when dey took off, but I didn't turn t' watch dem go.  
  
Was so loud dat I didn't realize someone was behind me until dey were right at my back. Grabbed for dere wrist and twisted t' flip dem over my arm, but instead I found myself on de ground wit' my own arm turned beneath me. Dere were twigs poking into my back, but when I realized who it was who'd pinned me I couldn't feel dem anymore.  
  
"Losin' your touch, Cajun." Amazing how happiness rushes t'rough you like water. For de first time I could remember, couldn't t'ink of anyt'ing t' say. "Ah'll say one thing 'bout knowin' ya, Remy, a girl's got ta know her own mind."  
  
"But...I t'ought y' weren't..."  
  
"Ah wasn't. But ya didn't give me much more than a sliver of a chance, now did ya? Ah was thinkin' and now Ah've thought an' Ah will, at least as long as Ah can stand it. Ah didn't want ta answer so soon because Ah was afraid it might have been your life Ah'd be agreein' ta live, not mine."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She smiled bashfully. "Kitty helped. Ah cain't take all th' credit." She was suddenly thoughtful.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ah was just thinkin' how disappointed Mr. Owens'll be ta lose th' two best students in honors English."  
  
"Two best?"  
  
She only laughed and jerked me t' my feet. "Yeah. Two best." She spun me around an' brushed de twigs and leaves from my back.  
  
"I don't mean t' keep doing dis t' you," I told her.  
  
"Keep doin' what?"  
  
"Dragging y' everywhere. Keeping y' from home."  
  
"First of all, you're not makin' me do anythin'; Ah thought Ah just got through explainin' that. Second of all, Ah...Ah don't even have a second of all!"  
  
Had a feeling dat she did, but I didn't want t' push de issue. Seemed too delicate. "Okay, chére." Kissed her quickly, aiming for her cheek but hitting de side of her mouth instead.  
  
"Out o' practice," she observed. "So once we get your bike then what?"  
  
"Was t'inking of John. He would never join de x-men, but I don't like de idea of him working for Magneto."  
  
"Ya think he'd help us track down th' guy from th' diner?"  
  
Curled my hands into fists. "All we can do is ask."  
  
We walked quietly for a while. De forest sounds rushed in -- crackle of our feet when we crushed small sticks, sighing wind t'rough de branches and de eternal twitter of birds. Rogue rested her hand on my forearm. When I stopped so did she.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked instantly.  
  
"Not'ing."  
  
She pursed her lips. "Doesn't seem like nothin'."  
  
I ran a hand t'rough my hair. "Okay, it's not not'ing. When we were back dere, before Kitty and Kurt came in, what were y' going t' say? I t'ought I could leave it alone, but...sorry."  
  
Rogue closed her eyes. "Ah bet ya know already."  
  
She was right 'bout dat. Could almost see de word hanging in de air between us.  
  
"I'd rather hear y' say it."  
  
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. She stood on tiptoes t' throw her arms around my neck, pressing her body tightly against mine. "It's a hard thing," she admitted. I heard her breath rushing against my ear.  
  
"I know."  
  
De silence dat wasn't silent surrounded us again, and in dat silence she said it, softly and clearly.  
  
FIN  
  
* * *  
  
A love-letter to all the people who've ever read and/or reviewed this series:  
  
I couldn't have done any of this without your support and encouragement. Honestly, I can't remember when a story has consumed me so completely. I have the sneaking suspicion that it would've eaten me alive if it hadn't been for everyone being so darned nice.  
  
I'm admitting a small measure of defeat here in that I was going to write an alternate ending with a tea/coffee party cliffhanger, but honestly, when I reached the end of the epilogue I was just exhausted. So I apologize for the lack of tea parties in this portion. The only thing to do is buy some fresh mint at the grocery store, boil some water, pour it over the mint leaves, add lots of sugar and have yourself a nice cup of mint tea just the way they make it in Morocco.  
  
Oh, and don't forget to pat my head kindly on the way out. I'd get up, but I'm tired.  
  
love + rockets, Sarah 


End file.
